


Deadly Nightshade

by vampirexchild



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Halloween, M/M, Witchcraft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:48:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 38,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27338968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirexchild/pseuds/vampirexchild
Summary: Frank's capabilities have lead him to becoming the human Familiar of a sweet spirit condemned to spend his eternity in a rotting house in the woods. Frank may have just the thing to give him a temporary shot at being human again.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25





	1. Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to post this on here before Halloween, but I forgot, whoops! Part one of three. I hope you like it xo

The leaves departed from the trees like sweet kisses to the earth cooling for the arrival of the autumnal season. Colors ranged between shades of orange to yellow, browning at the edges that would soon overtake the leaves for them to crumble underfoot the crowds of people strolling along the streets in their coats with grins on their faces. The breeze fluttered through open windows and carried the scent of crisp rain threatening to drizzle over the land, plump rainclouds casting a distinctive shadow across various neighbors' porches and the willows that wept at the first sign of chilling air pushing against their branches. The streets were still slicked by previous rainfall and the puddles pooled at each street corner erupted at every tire gliding across their surfaces. Autumn had long since began to bloom as the curtains of September drew shut. The atmosphere collectively became cheerful at the first signs swallowing the leaves whole in rich familiar shades fluttering to the pavement.

Frank's shoes crunched on groveled streets he walked across. His hands were burrowed into the pockets of his hoodie keeping the cold out, although the temperature wasn't increasingly freezing. He still felt the bite of the breeze dancing across his cheeks and nibbling at the tip of his nose like miniature fangs gently clamping down and injecting their first stage of frostbite into him. One ear listened closely to the dance of the swaying leaves he passed as he reached the sidewalk and the other faintly focused on the sound of The Bouncing Souls trickling through the single earbud dangling from it. His eyes drank in the decaying grass at the lawns striped in front of the houses in the neighborhood, but the sight wasn't unpleasant, it only added grace to the blooming of autumn breaking out across New Jersey.

It was Frank's favorite time of the year for the sights and the resumption of his daily strolls he liked to take to help his mind move on from more stressful aspects of his life. The clean air threaded through his lungs and he could practically feel the negativity steaming, escaping through his nostrils with every exhale his chest rested with. All thoughts of taking an extended break from college and losing his job only temporarily dissipated, but the small moment of relief was enough to keep his head above water. The times where it all escaped him were valuable and he learned to focus on the present more than the past so he'd save himself the grief of troubling grades and infuriated bosses suddenly shedding all of their understanding over Frank's struggle social anxiety. It was cold hearted, to say the least, to turn the tables when there had once been a promise where he was assured no penance would be paid if Frank was required to take a day off due to something that was on the verge of becoming a disability.

Frank sighed as the thoughts he escaped only to trickle to the back of his mind again. He tilted his head back to the sky and stared up at the gray clouds streaking above as though an artist had taken a paintbrush and swirled grays and whites over the blue he would see if the sunshine dominated the sky instead. Frank felt a single drop of rain splatter onto his cheek. _Peace_.

As he resumed his stroll, his eyes followed the line of carved pumpkins resting at the front doors of various houses celebrating the holiday, Halloween. Frank shared his birthday with the day, which was only a mere fragment of his reasons for it being his most favored holiday. Growing up on classic horror films, punk, and goth rock sharing gritty anthems about Halloween, it was only natural for his favoritism to rest with a celebration filled with fake blood splattering laughing faces and ghastly grins carved into the orange flesh of pumpkins glowing in the darkness when nightfall arrived. The imagery fueled his happiness and gave him an excuse to ink stitches all across his skin, pretending the marker was permanent ink coloring him an emulation of a monster rising from the jaws of a scientific laboratory.

It was also the day, although the entire month was electrified unusually by paranormal energy, where his gifts were at their peak. The veil to the other side thinned drastically and completely dissolved on Halloween, allowing spirits to wander free invisibly as they pleased or in solid form, hiding away with masks and ghoulish apparel to conceal their identity from fellow celebrators. Frank's veins flowing with witchcraft charged like the live wires of an electric outlet connected to each of his insides practically humming with power exuding in ways seeming mythical for their uniqueness and extravagance, and at times, it seemed a strain to restrict it. Frank had all the means to remain inconspicuous on a daily basis, but Halloween caused a collision of realms, and entities like himself were carried to their highest point in power.

Frank had always been a special child. Growing up curiously gifted, he cowered in terror during his youth at the strength of unexplainable occurrences always taking place around him, such as electricity explosively crackling during heated swells of anger and the furniture in his bedroom levitating through choked sobs expressing his sadness. His fear ran like blood through his veins to face the instances where destruction was caused by the tides of his intense emotions. Frank couldn't decipher why he'd been alienatedand cursed by abilities that shouldn't have been granted to him. As a Catholic child, he began believing he was possessed, frightfully cowering in the corners of his bedroom and losing hours of sleep to anguish. Part of his childhood was spent in cowardice, until he decided he was through with fearing himself.

Frank studied endlessly, learning the various forms of mental abilities one could have, and how to detect which powers were within himself. Countless books and articles were sifted through, entering flicking through the history of gifts such as telekinesis and telepathy in an attempt to find the roots he could curl his fists around to unearth what truly laid beneath his skin. His research carried him over to the realm of witchcraft, which nearly felt like forbidden ground at the beginning, but key factors undeniably stuck out to him, and an aching sense of needing to drink in the details drew him further into the separate universe. Witchcraft was where everything began to click into place so perfectly that a swell of relief, of peace, fell over him to discover he wasn't a freakish abomination going against the laws of heaven and hell. He was gifted. Many others were gifted, in different ways depending on the person and their intentions. It was a strength Frank needed to develop over time during long periods of meditation and relying on his extra senses to wield the power, give it a shape and a color and a sensation, and train it to obey to his will instead of lashing out as a separate entity.

Shaping his power to have complete control over it was the most difficult task. Without mentors or any experience to count on, Frank was on his own enduring the grueling sessions of intense concentration and sorting through every layer of his own energy to have the clearest understanding of it. He'd often end on a note of exhaustion and a sprouting migraine, but as the years passed, the difficulty began vanishing in increments. By the time Frank was fifteen, his abilities were his own to access at any time he pleased, and to keep hidden in the background of his mind whenever it began tingling underneath his skin during more vulnerable moments. He slipped every once in a while, which was acceptable as long as nothing horrific happened, but Frank was fully intact with himself and the gifts nestled into his DNA. Still, the consequence of distancing himself all those years gave him the burden of social anxiety. Frank would take that over fearing what he was capable of for the rest of his life.

To be fair, Frank was never the most social butterfly fluttering around. He kept to himself as much as possible with the exception of a few acquaintances and some he considered friends. None knew of his gifts, so he felt plentifully human around them, but as much as he enjoyed their presence when he had it, Frank preferred the silence to meditate and broaden his powers in the comfort of his bedroom, alone. The more he studied, the more performative he became, all for his self satisfaction. Frank always imagined he'd find the most comfort in solitude, until the day he stumbled onto mysterious grounds hidden in the woods, the day his life would take the most unpredictable turn.

There was one person that attached to him since he was a young teenager. The one soul that didn't exist in a constant state of sadness, self pity, and the common teenage angst Frank was more than used to finding in others as youthful as the one he met that one afternoon. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that his friend, a companion unlike all the rest, was dead.

Gerard was the first paranormal encounter Frank had. The first sight of him was terrifying, causing Frank to nearly leap out of his skin and charge towards the door of the creaky abandoned house that had called out to Frank the moment he stepped foot on the grounds. Gerard's energy was woven into Frank's side since the moment they met and became and instant alleviator. It was as though he bared his soul out to Frank to let him know there was no need to fear him, there were no ill intentions hidden behind the uncannily wide hazel eyes appearing nearly as frightened as Frank felt finding an apparition suddenly materialized and spoke to him. Frank had been on the ground when it happened after tripping over a lifted floorboard, gasping for breath, staring deep into the eyes of the ghost as he drank in the soul behind those eyes. It left Frank to instantly wonder how this spirit seemed more lively than others he read and heard about. How he appeared, how he told Frank he wasn't someone to be afraid of, it was all so different from the paranormal cases existing in the media. The most surprising part of it all was that Gerard was genuine. He wasn't encouraging Frank to waltz into a trap.

Frank's abilities didn't extend to paranormal life, which filled him up with questions, and he surely overflowed with them the moment all shock and introductions passed between them. Gerard was hesitant to inform Frank of the reason why he was able to see him, and not only that, but Frank could feel and touch him. Eventually, he was able to share the truth, and the truth was that Gerard had impulsively chosen Frank as a Familiar.

A Familiar in the paranormal world was a human companion that could either guide a lost soul towards their peaceful ending, or they could pull the spirit out of desolation so they wouldn't suffer an eternity of silence. Once a human Familiar passed, the lost soul was given a chance to find another one. Gerard had never chosen a Familiar before, since he was condemned to wander in the abandoned house and no worthy person ever came around. But he sensed something in Frank, a greater light separating him from the rest, and Gerard's desperation to be seen by him had caused him to choose Frank as his Familiar, a title that would remain with him until either his death or Gerard's transition into the light. Gerard made it clear he wasn't looking for a grand plan to be released from the paranormal realm; he only didn't want to be invisible anymore, and being heard by one person was plenty enough for him. The sadness underlying Gerard's confession caused Frank's unease to dissipate. Being a Familiar would only mean being a friend in the end. Frank wasn't sure how long Gerard had been suffering, but he oughted Gerard was long overdue for acknowledgment and kindness.

Frank often forget he was speaking to a restless soul and not a human being he happened to cross paths with. The reminder of his form of existence was the chill of his presence if he drifted close enough for Frank to feel it and the strange holographic state of his body when he met the sunlight. Beams sank under his pale skin and made him a projection in the sunlight, leaving Frank's chest to clench with fear that the sun might've vanquished him and he'd dissolve. It was so strange, so surreal at times. His fascination overtook any trace of fear that bloomed in the beginning. He grew incredibly fond of Gerard.

The cause of the death of Gerard wasn't known to Frank. He couldn't research his name because he only knew the first part of it. Gerard seemed to know Frank's intentions and fell silent each time he asked for his full name. As though he was happy as he was, floating through the walls of an abandoned house behind the crooked woods left behind by humanity, overgrown trees and weeds tangling through the broken windows and dusty floorboards rising from age and abuse. Graffiti and satanic marking loitered the place, giving a deathly cold aura Frank wouldn't dare enter ever again if he hadn't known Gerard's spirit mostly resided inside. Gerard was only allowed to escape with Frank when the demons Frank blocked out with a spell weren't hovering in the doorways as Gerard claimed they always did, manifesting in the mold clinging to the ceiling, in the darkest and dampest corners pooling with endlessly darkness Frank's eyes refused to meet each time he stepped foot inside the house. He was aware of their presence and the ripened fear festering in his stomach made itself known even as he wielded his ability in such a way where he couldn't acknowledge the higher beings trapping Gerard inside most days.

Gerard was one of the spirits who broke free on Halloween, thanks to the working charms Frank conjured up when he insisted there must've been a way to let Gerard experience what it was like to be human again. Each year, he obtained a more human form, and he celebrated alongside Frank in the darkness, where the quiet grazed the atmosphere and when the roads were rendered empty for them to stroll, taking in the sights of holiday joy, lanterns glowing inside carved pumpkins grinning at those who passed.

Frank walked through the familiar roads during his stroll with his mind set on the abandoned house he'd find Gerard inside at first. Excitement bubbled in his gut as he guided himself through the streets, headed towards the woodland area that would envelope him, and the trail that lead his working legs towards the unhinged doorways ominously greeting him on every visitation. The energy of spirits wandering through the area and magic didn't break through his concentration, but he didn't fail to acknowledge the brushing grazes of unseen forces, whispers he couldn't fully decipher. He glanced back a few times, quietly telling them they would find their peace someday.

Breaking through the brush and listening to the chorus of birds sitting in the twisting branches of the tall oak trees, Frank's shoes snapped fallen twigs under his feet and smashed dissolving leaves lingering in his path. He flinched for a moment at the sound of the brush moving a few feet away from him, but calmed when he realized it was only a squirrel scrambling towards a tree. He enclosed his mind so all negative spirits near the house couldn't reach him, or other entities without good intentions, feeling the way the world fell more silent once he did so. The radio static humming at the back of his brain disappeared and he was left with relieving emptiness. As the house appeared in his line of vision, Frank glanced back over his shoulder before breaking into a light jog the moment the coast was clear.

The door had fallen flat onto the floor years prior. The broken floorboards were coated in a thick layers of dust and fall leaves, broken glass settled in a decaying pile by the window frames. Puddles pooled in the corners and the center of what was once the living area due to a disintegrating hole punched into the ceiling, and it Frank looked up, he cringed the the webbings of mold and water damage seeping through. The smell was sharp in his nostrils, a scent he wished he could block out. There was also the lingering foul oder that lived inside the walls, the unpleasant scent reminding him of festering garbage with traces of rotted flesh blended in, signs of the presence of heavy darkness living silently in the shadows. Frank's chest quivered as he walked through the doorway, always uneasy at first until he found Gerard or vise versa. The eerie silence ringing in his ears caused a minor heart palpitation always collecting in the palms of his restless hands curling into fists at his sides. Frank felt the pulsating pressure of darker beings at the outside of his blockage, their demands to enter his mind and his body. He breathed out shakily, strengthening his resistance. He squeezed his eyes shut, pushing out against their snarls, his breathing racing at the effort—

A loud yell and cold hands clasping Frank's shoulders shattered his concentration. He was startled to the core, beams of shock piercing through every part of him and violently swelling as his defenses kicked in. Frank let out a short scream and whirled around, backing away from whatever had taken ahold of him.

He immediately let out the large gulp of air he'd sucked in at the intrusion colliding with him when familiar laughter rose up in the air. Frank's heart pounded viscously in his ribcage, so hard his fingers trembled with it, but the fear injecting adrenaline into his bloodstream slowly began to fall away. Frank's hands that rose in the air fell and slapped at his sides. His shoulders slumped in defeat and annoyance became presence on his face, aimed towards the person stood across from him.

Gerard was erupting with laughter. His arm went across his stomach and held him upwards as he started to bend forward from the force of his laughter echoing through the empty house, victorious in his attempt to frighten the lights out of Frank.

"It's only funny the first time! What the shit, Gerard." Frank protested. Gerard was relentless in his frequent scares. Frank imagined he would've grown used to it by now, enough it expect it, but the attempts to shut down the overactive part of his mind went so deeply that he didn't think to brace himself for anything Gerard had in store for him.

"It's funny _every_ time. You always fall for it." Gerard's wide grin was the same as always; slightly crooked, filled with small teeth. But on Halloween, it was insanely human. Frank almost believed he was fully alive again.

"You're mean." Frank grumbled. Nonetheless, he stepped closer, taking Gerard in.

Every Halloween, Gerard went all out with his clothing. He harbored the ability to channel in and out of visibility as he pleased, as well as causing a malfunction to occur in store surveillance cameras with his energy, so he shoplifted from the boutiques in town and decorated himself in lavish gothic clothing. This year, he was embellished more femininely in a thin strapped black dress reaching a few inches above his knees, the silky material at the bodice giving a slip gown feel, but the skirt flared out in folds of velvet and crinoline jaggedly peeking out from the bottom. The fishnet mesh underneath the dress was only visible at his chest, the rest was obscured by a heavy leather jacket decorated in studs and chains alike, jangling as Gerard walked in a slow circle to show off the fashion choices he'd made for the occasion. The chunky combat boots thudded against the hollow wooden floors, reaching just below his knees. Leggings kept his pale skin hidden away, but the sheer black material gave away the lack of coloration in his flesh underneath.

"What do you think?" Gerard asked, genuinely curious to hear Frank's opinion. He stopped circling and placed his hand on his hip.

"Very nineties." Frank reached out and brushed his fingers against the layered necklaces around Gerard's neck, the cross that was cool to the touch under the studded choker. "You've outdone yourself."

"That much was planned." Gerard smiled crookedly. "I feel great. This is the only time of the year I can wear anything feminine."

Gerard was an enigma sometimes, but his affinity for women's clothing was self explanatory. It was a part of him Frank only questioned once when it first made its appearance, to which Gerard answered he'd never been allowed to explore his curiosity about the appeal of clothes for the opposite sex out of fear of the way others would react during his human life. He fell oddly silent after that, and Frank never asked again.

"You're rocking it." Frank nodded approvingly. "Happy Halloween!"

"Right back at you." Gerard reached out and lightly tapped Frank's nose. "And happy birthday to you, squirt."

Frank flushed all across his face. "Thanks."

"How old are you now?" Gerard arched an eyebrow, dragging a rusted chair out from a damp corner and sinking down on it.

"Twenty." Frank wrinkled his nose. "I lost my youth, huh?"

"Not at all." Gerard smiled and shook his head. "I bet there are millions of people who wish they were twenty right about now."

"Well, I wish I was still sixteen." Frank sighed and clambered over to where the he kept a fold up chair for whenever he decided to visit.

"Getting older is way better than being eighteen forever." Gerard leaned his elbows on his knees and leaned his chin onto his fists with a frown. "I should be in my fifties by now."

Frank paused with a startle, gawking at Gerard. "You're that old?"

"Technically." Gerard's frown evolved into a faint smile. "I died in '92."

Frank fell silent. He unfolded the chair thoughtfully, sinking down into the seat beside Gerard. With that information, he could research deaths recorded in the year, and there was a higher chance of him finding the cause of Gerard's death. If he discovered the source, he could lend a hand that would guide Gerard towards the light, grant him the peace he deserved. With a pang to his chest, however, Frank's eyes moved over to where Gerard was giving him a sideways glance. He wasn't translucent even as the sunlight poured in through the broken windows and bathed Gerard in bright golden light giving his dark hair a gleaming finish and his skin a luminous glow one could admire for the rest of their days. He was filled with youth, it resonated in his appearance and soft skin, but age resided in his autumnal eyes behind the drapes of long lashes fluttering each time he blinked.

Frank would miss Gerard far too much if he saw him to the end. So much anticipation and fond thoughts would be lost. The selfish part of being human was the unwillingness to let a good thing go regardless of it being for the best.

"I know what you're thinking, Frank Iero." Gerard looked away from Frank's eyes and down instead, his long lashes sweeping along the tops of his cheeks.

Frank's hands twitched nervously. "You do?"

"Yup." Surprisingly, Gerard's lips stretched into another wide grin. He reached into his jacket, feeling for some sort of pocket Frank assumed, and slipped out a medium sized bag of colorful candy corn he proudly held up. "You're wondering where your candy corn is!"

Frank discreetly let out a sigh of relief. He relaxed into a smile, retrieving the plastic bag Gerard held out to him with a beam. Happiness sparked in his heart as his thumbs smoothed over the crinkling plastic. It was a tradition for Gerard to swipe candy corn from the store to give to Frank on his birthday, which they'd share until they decided to leave the house for the day.

"Thank you, Gerard." Frank smiled. "This always makes my entire Halloween."

"What, like my presence doesn't?" Gerard playfully bumped his shoulder against Frank's.

Despite himself, Frank blushed deeply, casting his eyes down to the package of candy corn. "You do, too."

"Softie." Gerard said, far gentler than Frank would've expected. Before he could look up into Gerard's eyes, Gerard's hands reached out for the bag to tear the plastic open. He gathered a handful of candy corn in his palm and returned the bag to Frank's lap.

Frank poured a small amount of candy into his hand and rested back in the chair, quietly popping the sugary pieces into his mouth. The sweet taste danced across his tastebuds and the swirl of caramel he gathered helped him realize Gerard obtained specially flavored candy corn that year. He chewed happily, admiring the striped colors wrapped around the pieces of candy.

"I realized how much people fucking hate candy corn." Gerard said disapprovingly. "All the other shit will be gone, but there's always a lot of this stuff left on the shelves."

"It is pretty terrible for you." Frank said around a new piece he'd popped into his mouth.

"Like chocolate won't give you diabetes?" Gerard raised his eyebrows.

"This stuff is made of pure sugar." Frank waved a piece in the air. "Not like I'd ever stop eating it every Halloween, though."

"Not as long as I'm around." Gerard popped a few pieces into his mouth and smiled around them, lips closed. Frank returned the smile and dipped his hand into the bag.

"So, what's the plan for this year?" Gerard crossed one leg over the other, staring expectantly at Frank.

"Whatever you wanna do." Frank lightly shrugged.

"It's your day." Gerard foot softly tapped Frank's.

"Well, yeah, I guess. But you're only kinda human once a year."

"More like superhuman." Gerard smirked. "I'm still cold as a corpse." He reached out and pressed his chilled fingers against Frank's neck, eliciting a high pitched yelp.

"Jesus, I'm shoving your hands in a fucking toaster." Frank flinched when Gerard laughed and teasingly repeated the motion.

"I can't feel pain, so that might actually warm me up." Gerard laughed.

"I wish I couldn't feel pain. Or get sick. Or get older." Frank sighed.

"So, you wanna be a vampire?"

"Hell yeah, man. We could be a supernatural team."

"We'd be a badass power couple on the cover of comic books." Gerard winked, and Frank flushed all over.

"W— We're not a couple." Frank stammered.

"I know. I'm dead, you're not, and Twilight is not an example we should follow." Gerard shook his head with a faint smile.

"I regret showing you that." Frank chuckled, trying his hardest to banish all thoughts of him and Gerard being together romantically.

"I don't. It was actually pretty interesting." Gerard ran his thumb along his lower lip the way he did when he thought deeply.

Frank shifted in his chair. "I guess. I'm not really one for dreamy romance stories."

"I used to be." Gerard chuckled. "Some of the greatest movies came out in my time."

"That makes you sound like a reminiscing grandpa." Frank had to tease despite agreeing with Gerard's statement.

"I _am_ a reminiscing grandpa." Gerard giggled, the sound dorky and echoing throughout the vacant house. "Some movies that are classics to you are movies I saw in the theaters."

"Dirty Dancing?" Frank asked half jokingly, and wasn't surprised to see Gerard enthusiastically nod his head.

"I had my first date with a girl. I think I liked the movie more than she did."

Against his better judgement, Frank let out a surprised, "Oh." Immediately, his cheeks flushed with blood so suddenly that his head whirled. He clasped into the bag of candy corn, clearing his throat as though it would make Gerard forget.

"What?" Gerard asked.

"Nothing." Frank mumbled.

"Shocked that girls were into me?" Gerard didn't sound hurt, only thoroughly amused.

"No, of course not." Frank scrambled. Swallowing hard, he avoided Gerard's eyes. "I don't want to offend you."

"I'm fuckin’ dead!" Gerard exclaimed. "I don't care about silly shit anymore. You can tell me."

Frank winced slightly at the mention of Gerard's state, and nearly scoffed at how absurd it was to often forget he wasn't another human being the same as he was. It stung a bit, as if it was the hollow scar of loss in his heart, but he'd never lost Gerard.

"I don't know," Frank whispered and squirmed. "I kind of got . . . a different vibe from you."

It might've been hope, Frank realized, due to his own preferences. Roses bloomed under his cheeks, flooding down to his chest in a bright red hue he couldn't hide after going crazy cutting his hair so it was in choppy tufts. He scolded himself for the inappropriate birds breaking free from their cages and fluttering through his chest whenever he captured Gerard beaming at him, and sensation of the rise and fall of his heart when their eyes met and lingered for a second longer than normal for ordinary friends. He thought his attraction was impossible to act on for far more obvious reasons than Gerard not being attracted to men.

"Oh, I see." Gerard hid his grin behind his delicate hand reaching up to cover his mouth. "You thought I swung the other way."

Frank's heart palpitated. "Sometimes my gaydar isn't always right, I'm sorry." Frank's eyes widened. "Not that I'm gay. Or, well . . ."

"Frank, it's fine." Gerard dropped his hand to show his smile had softened. Frank couldn't tear his eyes away from Gerard's once he met them tentatively. "I'm not an old-fashioned homophobe. I can't be, I actually liked guys."

An explosion of feathers from chirping birds went down in Frank's gut, swirling around wildly and giving him a sense of weightlessness. What dampened the sensation was the past tense Gerard paired his words with.

"Meaning it's in the past?" Frank sounded embarrassingly breathless.

Gerard wasn't capable of blushing, but the expression on his face told Frank he would've if he had the ability to. His gaze dropped to his hands twisting in his lap, his lips shrinking into a shy smile barely ghosting at the corners.

"If I was alive, I'd use present tense." Gerard whispered. "But I'm obviously not in the dating game anymore."

"Right." Frank's heart sank. He rested in his chair as silence swelled in the room. At one point, it was broken when Frank asked, "How have we never talked about this?"

"I don't know." Gerard breathed, a surprised smile grazing his lips.

Their hands no longer reached for the plastic bag of sweets, and if Frank moved his own, he feared it would cross paths with Gerard's and they'd graze, painfully human in the way their skin would touch without an erupting chill chasing each of his bones. From the corner of his eye, he glanced at Gerard, his eyes dragging along his feminine clothing and the beauty of his pale skin in the sunlight. If there was any possible way to bring Gerard back to life permanently without consequences or interrupting the scale of nature, Frank would posses the method and give Gerard another opportunity to live again. Something about his energy suggested his death hadn't been natural. There was lingering sadness in the back of Gerard's eyes he swallowed down during their meetings. Frank ached to know the cause, the solution to Gerard's restlessness, even if his heart would break to see him swallowed up by the light to never return to him again with candy corn on Halloween and warm smiles easing the turmoil in Frank's mind.

Frank's eyes reached his face and he gasped softly to see Gerard openly staring back at him. His head was tilted, unafraid of being caught studying Frank. Their gazes linked and the spark Frank suspected he hadn't imagined at random times rose to life between them. His heartbeat was so obvious to his ears that blood rushed under his skin and stained it scarlet, so bright that Gerard chuckled fondly at the sight.

Gerard rose from his seat and brushed the dust from his dress skirt. Striding over to the broken window facing the overgrown trees and plantation outside, he leaned his hands on the frame, reaching one out to feel the soft breeze fluttering through the leaves.

"How's this Halloween going so far?" Gerard asked, his mind sounding far away as he spread his fingers out and turned his palm towards the ground.

"A little rainy. Those clouds don't look friendly." Frank rose from his own chair to join Gerard, resting the bag of candy on the seat. "But I don't think it's gonna pour for another hour or so."

"I don't mind walking in the rain, if that's fine with you." Gerard stared at the lining of trees adjacent to the window. "Not like my eyeliner is gonna run."

"You don't wear eyeliner." Frank pointed out.

"I would if I could." Gerard swung back around with a beam replacing the far off look from only a second ago. "It's a new age. People wouldn't care."

"Sometimes they do." Frank reached for the candy corn, the plastic crinkling under his ministrations. "Most don't."

"How do you feel about doing a ghost's makeup?" Gerard cocked his head to the side inquiringly, his smile softening in a more hesitant manner as if he feared Frank would reject him. It wasn't as if Frank had to means to, it was impossible to say no to Gerard, and not only because of his morbid circumstances.

"If that's what you want." Frank agreed. "Just a warning, I'm sloppy as shit."

"Just look up how to do it. Can't you do that?"

"You want me to use a fuckin' makeup tutorial?" Frank reeled in laugher already gripping at the sides of his chest at the idea of him googling makeup tutorials to give Gerard the airbrushed look he envisioned, but it clawed its way to his throat, coaxing a playful glare from his companion.

"Everyone does their makeup on Halloween." Gerard protested, coming up to Frank fast and lightly elbowing him in the side as he passed. "I'm already in a dress anyways, they're gonna think it's a charade."

"You look like Nancy from The Craft. If anyone asks, just say that's who you're dressed as."

"Nancy. Okay." Gerard nodded, his brows furrowing when he looked back over his shoulder. "I don't have any idea who that is, but I'll take it."

"Looks like we've got something else to do this Halloween." Frank folded up the bag of candy corn to preserve its fresh quality if he wanted to enjoy it for the remainder of the day in increments.

"I think that sounds great." Gerard assented and so fondly grinned at Frank that the twinkle in his eyes warmed Frank's gut the way frigidly cold fingers thawed under a cascade of warm water.

All the more eager was Frank to escape the abandoned house placing an unnecessary edge on their interactions. He wouldn't keep Gerard waiting on the only time of year he was able to step foot off the premises. "C'mon, G, I'm not letting any of your time be wasted in this shitty old place."

The second Gerard stepped foot out of the doorway now that an invisible boundary couldn't fling him backwards, he began to twirl. He spun in circles, whooping as the clear air fanned across his face and whipped through tendrils of his hair striping across his cheeks as he titled his head back towards the sky. He welcomed the splashes of raindrops colliding with his skin, an incandescent grin stretched wide across his face and giving the illusion of someone fully human, alive. Frank could vividly imagine the flush of blood reaching his cheeks and flowing outwards in a hue of red flooding his lips and giving a warmer tone to pale flesh he imagined took a rosy alabaster hue when he was alive. The rainbows hidden in the subtle beams of sun breaking through the clouds encircled Gerard and flashed across him in colorful streaks following in stride like the phantoms of all the seasons reminisced in his presence now that he was free again.

Gerard and Frank charged through the woods in search of the clearing in a round of laughter overlapped by Frank's elated heavy breaths as he struggled to catch it while sprinting. Gerard didn't struggle to breathe since his lungs were barren, giving him an advantage he used against Frank to reach for the clearing first and win the race. Frank pumped his shorter legs as quickly as possible and tumbled through the brush, tearing past trees and snapping fallen branches beneath his feet as the sound of Gerard's joyful laughter joined the symphony of nature. They barreled down the path and finally broke free of the greenery enveloping them like the final layer of restriction hiding them away from the outside world. Gerard whooped out loud when he reached the road first, then broke out in boisterous laughter echoing everywhere when Frank finally caught up in a breathless heap lightly punching Gerard's upper arm to playfully reprimand him for cheating. Gerard claimed he wasn't cheating, that he wasn't at fault for not needing to breathe while sprinting, but Frank kept up with his claims the whole way to his house just as the first real drizzle of rain fell down onto the earth sweetly smelling of autumn's gifts to nature.

"Mom! Gerard's here." Frank called out once he stepped back inside the house with Gerard in tow. Gerard's eyes were bright and he practically bounced with excitement, drinking in the house all over again as though it was his first time, even if it wasn't.

"He's back?" Frank's mother called out from the kitchen where the sound of the facet running called Frank's attention while trying to find her.

"Hi Mrs. Iero." Gerard called out ecstatically, bumping Frank on the arm with his own as he passed by him to enter the kitchen for a proper greeting.

A year ago, in order to bring Gerard along with him to the house on his day of freedom, Frank informed his mother that Gerard was an old friend from school who moved away when they were younger and kept in touch long distance, and he made his return during Halloween season. Allegedly, he was dragged along with his parents who visited family he wasn't particularly fond of since they were incredibly old fashioned and didn't appreciate Gerard's appearance or interests. His getaway was spending the holiday with Frank, which was something his parents allotted, as long as he didn't wander very far. Linda Iero was a very unobservant and lenient women, and she had her suspicions the first time Frank brought Gerard into the house the year before, but soon let it pass when Gerard proposed his rehearsed story. Linda felt sympathy towards him and became fond of Gerard quickly after realizing how gregarious and gentle he could be once he was situated.

They entered the kitchen where Linda was drying off her hands with a Halloween style towel she normally folded beside the sink and turned around expectantly. Gerard entered with his arms lifted at his side, giving a slow spin to show off the look he pulled together with his own unique taste. Frank smiled faintly and shared a look with his mother, lightly shaking his head. Every Halloween, without failing, Gerard always searched for praise when it came to his costume.

"Wow! Very . . . dark." Linda laughed at her description when she was at a loss for words and folded the kitchen towel back up once she was finished using it. "What are you supposed to be? A goth witch?"

"Yeah! I guess so." Gerard quickly went along with her assumption. "I'm, um. Mandy from The Craft."

"Nancy." Frank swiftly corrected Gerard and pushed along the conversation before Gerard could get flustered by his error. "I'm gonna give him a makeover."

"A makeover?" Linda's eyebrows shot up skeptically. "Frank, do you even have makeup?"

"I have . . . eyeliner." Frank's face flushed in a heated swirl of sheepish blood when Gerard's eyes darted over to him. "That should be enough."

"Well, if I remember that movie at all, you're gonna need some lipstick if you want to go all out." Linda amusedly glanced between them. "You want to borrow a tube? Maybe some mascara? I have a brand I didn't like for myself, but for Halloween it should do."

"Yes!" Gerard enthusiastically cried out. Frank wrinkled his nose a bit as he realized his skills would be tested, but he couldn't bring himself to shoot down the offer when Gerard was so radiantly happy it could've given Frank a fluttery stomachache if he looked into his face for too long.

Linda placed the cosmetics in Frank's hands once she retrieved them with a twinkle in her eyes as if she knew the makeover could end in disaster, but she was looking forward to the end result, however it may look. Frank resisted the urge to stick out his tongue at her.

"Frank, why didn't you dress up? You left Gerard by himself." Linda lightly reprimanded Frank for plainly dressing.

"I'll find something later." Frank spoke in his defense. "I'm just gonna help him finish his costume first."

"Don't stab him in the eyeball." Linda lifted a warning finger matching her stern tone.

"I won't let him gouge my eyes out, Mrs. Iero." Gerard grinned contagiously and brought a smile to Frank's mother's lips. Frank nearly rolled his eyes to see the charming effect Gerard's grin had on others, but he refrained as he found his own lips curling upwards in response, a buried instinct rising up.

"Later, when your dad comes home from work, we're going to an adult Halloween party." Linda informed Frank of her evening plans. "You two can go out, just make sure you lock up the house. If you're staying here, you don't have to hand out candy, just leave a bowl on the porch."

"Some asshole is gonna wipe the entire bowl clean."

"Watch your mouth, you have a guest." Linda huffed despite biting back a smile. "Check on it once in a while then. We have five bags."

"Yes ma'am." Frank lazily saluted his mother.

"You're absolutely sure you don't wanna do anything for your birthday?" Linda's brows puckered.

"Having Gerard here is good enough." Saying it made Frank happier than he expected. He looked at Gerard who made silly faces at himself in the mirror hanging in the hallway and fought back more laughter.

"Okay. Well, be careful. And feed that boy. He looks pale as death." Linda worriedly whispered as Gerard wandered down the hall to take a look at the family photographs on the walls. Frank struggled not to snort at the irony of what his mother said.

"I've got it, mom, he's fine." Frank whispered back and retreated to his bedroom with Gerard in tow, kicking the door shut once he was past the doorway. The pelting rain on the ceiling created a soothing ambience matching with the swirling grays of the bright sky and the rivers of raindrops twisting down the glass of the window taking the burden of the frigid water to protect the residents of the house. Frank always wished he could relish in the rain by soaking himself head to toe under the showers, but knowing how poorly his immune system took exposure to the slightest shift in weather, he couldn't condemn himself to a fate of nearly losing a lung from the intensity of the couch wracking through his body. Frank wouldn't go so far as to say Gerard was lucky because his circumstances were surely not ideal, but he envied the ability of being able to splash through the puddles outdoors, unbridled and giggling up towards the sky to soak in the rain. He remembered watching Gerard from the porch the year before, a soft smile at his lips, his chest aching with longing. He convinced himself it was only longing to join Gerard, nothing more.

"You turned everything around in here." Gerard tapped the toe of his boot against the giant bookcase arching over where it parted in the middle to make room for a desk wedged inside the gap. "Do you still hide your witchy things in the same spot?"

"Keep your voice down." Frank frantically hissed, but laughed under his breath nonetheless, and Gerard joined him.

"Sorry." Gerard crookedly grinned and plopped down on the center of the carpeted floor, crossing his legs. His chains dangling from his outfit gave gentle chimes as he adjusted the hem of his dress and leaned back on his palms, looking around the room curiously. "I heard what your mom said about feeding me."

"She didn't mean it in a bad way, in case you're offended."

"Not at all." Gerard beamed. "She's nice. I want her to be my mom, too."

"I don't." Frank snickered, and in some ways confessed that he was a spoiled mommy's boy deep down. He never wanted any siblings because of the lack of attention he'd receive, something he made known to his mother numerous times. She always reassured him that he was plenty enough for herself and for his father.

"Do you really want all of this or were you just having a hard time saying no to my mom?" Frank dropped down to his knees with the makeup clutched in his hands including his eyeliner he retrieved from a drawer at his dresser and spilled them onto the carpet, poking at the tube of deep red lipstick with his index finger. He couldn't remember his mother adorning herself with that shade, but the seal was broken and the tip was a bit dull.

"Of course I want it." Gerard matter-of-factly responded. "This is the only time of the year this could happen. I'm taking advantage of it."

"I don't have makeup wipes." Frank's lips rose up on one side. He reached for the stick of eyeliner and popped the cap off as a warning.

"Bring it on." Gerard closed his eyes and leaned forward, closer than Frank expected at first, so he nearly drew away. Frank wasn't capable of moving, transfixed by how trusting Gerard's expression was as he relaxed his features. They were all soft; cherub lips and cheeks, long lashes and uniquely arched eyebrows. Frank swallowed thickly and chased down the rapid flutter swarming around through his chest unwarranted. He breathed out through his nose and pretended all was normal as he brought the tip of the eyeliner pen to Gerard's upper lash line.

"It's amazing how much you trust me with this." Frank quietly noted, his voice a soft murmur while so near to Gerard's face. He was tempted to hold his breath, but he figured it would be noticed since Gerard wasn't breathing.

"I trust you with a lot of things. You're my Familiar." Gerard hummed. "It's your job not to fuck it up."

Warmed by Gerard's words, Frank's conscious dismissed the second statement following up with humor to prevent it from being too tender. Frank considered it for a long moment while gently stroking eyeliner around Gerard's eyes, rolling his lower lip into mouth. It was moments like those where thin strands deep within Frank's heart began to snap and curl in to realize he couldn't keep Gerard so near to him apart from a single day in the mass of a year. One out of fucking three hundred and sixty five says was practically a fraction of a second in hours, especially in a position where Frank wished there was more he could do for Gerard to grant him the freedom he deserved. Freeing him entirely wasn't an option, Gerard made it clear that he only needed company, even if Frank never understood how Gerard could have such a grand opportunity placed in his hands only to deny himself of the contentment that came with being unbound to the earth any longer. Frank's thoughts traced back to the year Gerard passed. It had been well over a decade, most of it spent trapped in the rotting walls of an abandoned building that became a cesspool of demonic activity and putrid smells wafting off the webs of mold eating away the wood.

Frank took his only makeup brush and swept it along the subtle black lines he made around Gerard's eyes. They weren't so large like his own, but almond shaped, nearly too far apart, yet it suited the pointed curve of his cute nose making his side profile so interesting to look at. He wondered again what Gerard would look like if he was fully human, and how he appeared in the days where he was alive. Years passed and he still didn't know much, Gerard always skimmed past the topic and Frank respected it. Inquiries rose up in him that he figured he was close enough with Gerard to ask them again.

"What were you like when you were alive?" Frank asked softly. A bit of hesitation threaded through his question looming in the air.

Gerard's eyes fluttered open. They crossed slightly looking directly into Frank's eyes, and Frank scooted back a bit with a bright flush once he realized he was too close. Gerard didn't react negatively to the proximity or the question. His expression was soft, relaxed, as though he'd just returned from the brink of sleep.

"An ambivert. I loved hanging out with friends and going out, but I needed my space a lot, too. I was perfectly comfortable holing up in my room all weekend, drawing or reading or watching reruns of The Twilight Zone." Gerard surprised Frank by freely sharing the past with him, all while focusing on Frank's face. "I loved my family a lot. Sometimes I'd turn down an invite to go out just to hang out with them. I was kinda weird, honestly. Hooked on learning all about horror and bizarre comics and cold cases."

"As long as you didn't have crushes on any serial killers, it's not weird to me. Cause that's kinda fuckin' creepy." Frank's lips curved up and Gerard's answering smile was brighter, crinkling the corners of his eyes as Frank swept a brush under them.

"No way, I wasn't _that_ weird." Gerard chuckled. "I was just really interested in strange disappearances and unexplainable things. The stuff that scares people and makes them wonder what's really out there."

"I get it." Frank looked into those topics a few times himself, but never got too invested in them. They always left him uneasy and cold inside, but he couldn't deny their intrigue. "Do you think you'd still be like that if you were alive right now?"

Gerard rolled his lips into his mouth contemplatively and thought for a moment. "Maybe. Probably not too much. I wouldn't really know. I feel like I never got a chance to — to really finish growing up, you know?"

Frank's heart began to sink again. His hand slowed and looked into Gerard's eyes, reading the sadness shadowing inside them. "I know. I'm sorry."

"I've told you before that you don't have anything to be sorry for, Frank." Gerard softly reminded him. "This sucks, but there's nothing we can do about it."

"I know, but I wish—" Frank cut himself short before he could do anything to disrupt Gerard's temporary peace. "I just wish."

"I know you do." Gerard's eyes were gentle flickering across Frank's face. They stayed there even as Frank lowered the brush with a soft sigh, searching deep into his paranormal friend's gaze for any signs of melancholy or regret to have opened up about a wound that could never fully close. Frank caught signs of frayed stitches and his empathy only worsened.

"What if there was something I could do about it?" A thought dawned across Frank again. "Not permanently. Maybe temporarily. Just like how you're free every Halloween."

Gerard warily looked between both of Frank's eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Fuck, I don't know, like. A spell that could . . . that could turn you human for a day. Fully human. Not just a little more solid and mobile." Frank knew how far fetched his wishful thinking was, but he supposed that in the vast realm of magic, nothing was entirely impossible. It was in witchcraft where he discovered the word impossible didn't exist, it was only a state of mind preventing anyone from flourishing. With his abilities, he could defy many forms of science and gravity, so why couldn't he grant Gerard the gift of life for a moment if he was nearly halfway there by taking Gerard away every October?

"I'm dead, Frank. How could I become human again?" Gerard incredulously pinched his lips together and slowly shook his head, already denying the possibility of such a thing existing.

"There's so many things you can do with magic." Frank insisted. "I'm a little scared of trying intense things, but I'd be willing to try for you."

"We don't even know if that's possible. It's probably not." Gerard dismissed Frank's proposal, but a flash of unresolve softened his eyes as he darted them away to conceal their truth. Frank was intuitive with Gerard as his Familiar; he knew it wouldn't take much to persuade him.

"Don't you want to feel again? To breathe, sleep, to feel the difference between hot and cold?" Frank softly pressed onto the tender spots without crossing any boundaries and turned into Gerard's line of vision. "I mean . . . it's not the same being halfway solid, right?"

"At least I can taste." Gerard attempted to breeze past the questions Frank asked in favor of reaching into the pocket of his hoodie to fish out the folded bag of candy corn. He popped one in his mouth with a tilted smile that didn't fully reach his eyes. As cool as a cucumber like they weren't having a serious conversation.

Frank stared tiredly, arching an eyebrow. "You're dodging my questions now."

"Absolutely." Gerard tersely said, and tossed a few more pieces of candy into his mouth. "Can we move onto mascara now?"

Frank sighed softly, unwilling to let go of the topic, but decided to let the silence swell up as he reached for the tube of mascara. Still, even as he shakily guided the toothy brush through Gerard's thick eyelashes, it lingered in his mind. He envisioned Gerard as a living person a plethora of times and the possibility of it coming true for even the smallest moment was not only enthralling, but a vast wave of warmth passed through him to envision the happiness Gerard would experience to be complete again. A beating heart, reactive lungs, a flush of blood bringing peonies underneath his cheeks. The rosy glow of life enhancing the winking light exuding from the center of Gerard's heart and further into his soul, a source of purity. Frank imagined how the sunbeams would separate and reminisce on their past formation while buried in Gerard's hair in golden rivers touching the darkness. Instead of penetrating through his form, they would waltz across the surface of him. Frank's heart was suddenly unbearably heavy.

Frank popped open the lipstick tube and twisted the end for the cosmetic to protrude a little further out. He hesitantly neared Gerard's mouth, swallowing thickly and prayed it went unnoticed. "What are you thinking about?" Frank asked in an attempt to break the silence apart.

"Madonna." Gerard let out a sharp chuckle through his nose and his lips quirked up at the corners. They parted when the lipstick first made contact with his lower lip. Frank diligently colored it in with slow strokes, forcing his fingers not to shake.

"Madonna?" Disappointment colored Frank's tone. He drew the lipstick away for Gerard's response.

"Yeah. How is she holding up these days?" Gerard inquired with genuine curiosity pushing them further away from the previous topic than Frank would have liked.

Nonetheless, Frank answered Gerard's question. "Well, she's not exactly the it girl anymore, but she's still kicking. She hasn't stopped performing."

"I remember when she was the queen _and_ the princess." Gerard recollected. "Should I rub my lips together?"

"Oh, uh, yeah." Frank distractedly slid the cap back over the tube of lipstick after the final touch was complete. He watched Gerard rub his lips together, puckering them as his eyes flashed open in hopes of making Frank smile, but only a weak quirk of his mouth was brought up.

"Do I look pretty?" Gerard curled his hands around his jawline and titled his head to the side, batting his lashes draping impossibly longer over his autumnal eyes.

"You always look pretty." Frank spoke out of instinct and with the truth, but his mind was elsewhere even as he inspected Gerard's painted face and found his chest clenching from the dramatic colors making his beauty more fragile than before, something delicate.

Gerard wavered gradually. His smile melted from his face and a drawn out sigh pushed out from the center of his chest, even if there was no need for oxygen in his lungs. He pushed himself up to his feet and wandered over to Frank's bed, plopping down on the corner as his hand grazed the covers.

"What's the point of turning human again for a little bit if I'm just gonna go back?" Gerard's small voice carried over to Frank. Frank craned his neck to stare at him, his eyes widening. Gerard continued. "I'm gonna enjoy the fuck out of myself just to come back to this." He lifted his hands defeatedly and dropped them back into his lap with a loud smack.

Frank rose to his feet and stood in the center of the room, slowly turning to face Gerard. A deep lurch his heart recognized Gerard's struggles and truly understood them, yet another portion of him wanted Gerard to renew the sensations in his mind to never forget what it felt like to be alive. Admittedly, there was a selfish tickle whispering at the back of Frank's mind, one that toppled over with curiosity and wonders he doubted wouldn't enchant him. He wanted to see Gerard, feel him as a breathing, flesh and blood companion, and perhaps something more for a fragment of a second, just a short lived rush adrenalizing him. Frank sucked in a small breath and shakily swallowed it down. He couldn't. This wouldn't be about himself.

"I want you to be fully happy and free. Even if it's only for a little while." Frank twisted his hands in front of him nervously. "I don't want you to forget what it's like to be alive."

"I'm bound to forget at some point, Frankie." Gerard sadly met his eyes. "You won't last forever. I won't even have this anymore in a few decades." He gestured to himself, eyes glistening despite being unable to shed tears.

"Then take advantage of it. While I'm still here." Frank's heartache lead his legs to operating without being fully conscious of it. He sank down on the bed close to Gerard's side, not breaking eye contact for a single moment, and cursing the seconds he wasted needing to blink.

Gerard's brows puckered, a pained frown bringing out the fragility of his loveliness. "Aren't you scared of this type of magic?"

Frank's hesitation brought out some of the brutal reality he hadn't paused to wholly process yet. "Yeah. A little. But I've already taken a little step towards this, getting you out of that house once a year. If I find something, it should work out fine."

"I don't know." Gerard dropped his eyes onto his hands clasped tightly in his lap, cradled by the soft fabric of his dress. "I don't . . . I just don't know."

Sensing Gerard's distress was a partial awakening for Frank. He realized that he was pushing this onto Gerard, an asshole move on his behalf. Guilt overshadowed the wanting tug moving through him.

He softened his voice, his brows furrowing. "You don't — you don't have to, G. I'm not gonna force you. I just." He cut himself off sharply as the breath in his lungs abruptly ran out. The longing tingled warmly under his skin, increasing like a sea of electricity growing static in his flesh as Gerard met his eyes again to search for the answer he had yet to speak out loud. Frank wasn't sure if he could, or if he wanted to at all. He looked into the eyes that were so similar to all the comforts of Frank's favorite things, realizing everything combined created his favorite thing in the entire world, Gerard. He swore he felt his ribs collapsing inwards and his heart shoving up into his throat. Sudden anxiety clawed its way up. Fuck, Frank never had a good time telling anyone how he felt, now was not the time to shut down.

"I just. I want." Frank stammered out, and swallowed hard. Gerard was bemused by Frank choking on his sentences when he rarely did that around him and he was completely lost on the reason why.

"What do you want?" Gerard calmly asked, cautious so he wouldn't overwhelm Frank. Frank realized he was acting quite bizarrely while not being willing to admit what he felt out loud. It would only cause a rift, not to mention it was impossible.

Frank turned his head and suppressed the oncoming swell of emotion robbing him of his words. He grabbed onto his knees and exhaled. "To see you happy. That's it. But, if it wouldn't make you happy, then we can forget it."

Gerard settled in the quiet that fell over them once Frank choked out a parcel of the truth to scramble away from the depth of what his heart desired. Skittish from the epiphany, Frank was suddenly caught up in an urge to let go of the topic as a whole and let it decay in the past. He squirmed and shot up to his feet, shaking his hands out at his sides.

"We can forget it." Frank gushed out. "I'm sorry for pushing. It was just a thought."

"Frank, wait." Cool fingers suddenly clamped down around Frank's wrist and gave a gentle squeeze. Frank crystallized where he stood, staring at the pale hand clasped around his wrist. He robotically turned his head and looked into Gerard's eyes swimming with doubt. He made a strange noise of question.

Gerard let go of Frank's wrist and stood up, keeping close and inspecting Frank's face with a bit of uncertainty. "Do you think anything bad would happen if we tried out a spell like this?"

Frank slowly looked between both of Gerard's eyes. "What do you mean?"

"You know. The consequences of magic. That shit." Gerard shivered.

Frank pondered over it. Black magic typically came with consequences, but Frank didn't think a temporary spell could cause damage to the balance of nature. Neither of them would need to pay if it didn't anger the universe. Frank would keep Gerard near at all times and he'd show caution, nothing out of the ordinary routine he planned beforehand.

"I don't think so," Frank shook his head. "Not if it's just a fleeting thing."

"Do you promise?" Gerard asked with understandable intensity.

"I can't promise anything until I find what I'm looking for." Frank looked towards his bookcase filled with innocent novels stacked inside, but they were spiritual books on magic with coverups taped onto the front of the pages so no one would be tempted to open them. He squeezed Gerard's forearm as a signal for him to follow as he made his way to the books settled in an order he memorized.

"Is this how you're hiding your witch books these days?" Gerard asked as Frank tucked a book disguised as a Harry Potter novel out from between a series of others on the closest shelf. One of the thickest and handiest spell books in Frank's possession.

"It's inconspicuous, isn't it?" Frank asked and peeled back the cover to show Gerard the true nature of the book after paging through the introductions he also tore out from the fifth volume of Harry Potter.

"It's genius." Gerard complimented Frank's attempt to lay low and color rose up under Frank's cheeks before he could compose himself enough to not be affected by his words. He rapidly swiveled around on his heels and retreated to the bed again so Gerard wouldn't catch the redness splashing across his skin. Frank sank down on the mattress that bounced slightly under the sudden weight and pried the book open to the section containing the spell Frank used to release Gerard every Halloween. He supposed spells of a similar nature would neighbor it.

"There's gotta be something not so intense in here." Frank muttered and paged through the spells, coming across the one he was accustomed to and slowing so he wouldn't whip past anything vital. Gerard sank down beside him and peered over his shoulder.

Frank finally came across a spell that flipped his insides over and sent sparks flying through his internal system all the way to the first layer of his skin. He jabbed a finger hard onto the page, startling Gerard.

"Did you find something?" Gerard breathed out.

"Tempus vitae." Frank uttered the Latin phrase out loud, then the English translation beside it, "Temporary life."

"Is that it?" Gerard leaned closer to read the page, his shoulder pressed up against Frank's.

"It says this spell will give the dead life for a total of two days. The spirit of choice can experience life again in its full glory, but there must be a level of control." Frank progressively lose his breath.

"Frank." Gerard squeezed Frank's wrist tightly.

"But . . . the risk of using this power is where no balance remains. The spirit either returns to a phantom-like state, or." Frank's throat tightened, and he was barely able to squeeze the words out, each syllable tearing into his heart in increments. "They will vanish forever."

Gerard's grip on Frank's arm remained, but became a stony shackle, as if everything in him froze solid even while still in contact with Frank. Frank didn't dare glance at Gerard's face. His heart beating sorely began to stutter in an uneven pattern threatening to cause a violent shatter. He knew then that if Gerard were to vanish, as would his heart, and how would Frank ever continue without a heart?

"That's . . . that's not fair." Frank choked out. "How is that fair? You either go back or you're gone for good?"

"I — I don't know." Gerard sounded stunned, not pleasantly or negatively. Almost numb to the terrible consequence that could come with performing the spell.

Frank's first instinct was anger. His fingers began trembling while supporting the book in his hands as his insides churned violently. "What the fuck? That makes this practically impossible! I'm not fucking — I'm not gonna risk losing you. I can't fucking do that."

"Don't get mad." Gerard, always the mediator. He placed gentle hands over the book and turned it the opposite way while it was still split open. He rested it on the bed and lowered Frank's rigid hands still floating in the same position, not supporting anything. Frank squeezed his eyes shut and focused on the chill of Gerard's skin that felt stony and like it was emitting winter.

"What's the point in making it possible if there's a catch as big as that?" Frank carefully selected his words and spoke them through gritted teeth. He willed all of his focus to migrate towards where Gerard was touching him, lingering around his fingers stiffened like a defense mechanism.

"Let me see that thing again." Gerard muttered again and withdrew his hands to Frank's dismay. Frank pressed his eyes shut and breathed deeply through his nose. He couldn't lose Gerard. The thought of it was physically painful, what would the actual event feel like? It had the potential of obliterating him to an inconsolable shell.

"Just leave it be, Gerard. There's no fuckin' point." Frank pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed, shaking his head.

"No! No, look, it says," Gerard twisted around and batted at Frank's knees to get his attention. Frank's eyes flashed open and found Gerard's eyes brimming over with hope. "It says that if the spirit's will is wrong enough, they won't disappear. They can stay."

Frank dared to allow Gerard's hope to graze him. "What?" He reached out for the book to drink in the words he missed himself. Gerard tapped the entry beneath the spell instructions and all but shoved it into Frank's hands.

Frank held the book open and repeatedly scanned over the words that could've opened up the possibility to them again. Had it not been for the lingering fear tearing through his chest, Frank would have discarded further hesitation and asked Gerard for his consent to give it a try. Frank traced his fingertips along the conditions and looked up at Gerard uncertainly, a crooked frown screwed onto his face.

"We can't be sure, G." Frank's touch of hope started rapidly diminishing. "What if you aren't strong enough?"

"I know I am. I want to stay here with you, Frank." Gerard passionately blurted it out and surprised Frank, then he seemed to catch himself in a thought, simmering down. Gerard pressed his lips together and shrunk down slightly. "You're . . . you're my Familiar. And my best friend. You saved me from being lonely these past few years. I'm not ready to leave you."

Frank's heart stirred in a different way than it had prior. He stared into Gerard's eyes and found unconditional loyalty in them, just like he did every single time Gerard shared something with him in earnest. Frank felt the same loyalty towards him. His guard began to unravel.

"I thought you didn't want to do this." Frank set the book down into his lap.

"I didn't. I wasn't sure." Gerard admitted contemplatively. "But . . . it must be cool, right? To be alive again?"

"Cool. I guess you could say that." Frank chuckled at Gerard's selected description. "Are you sure you'd want to try this? With a risk as huge as this?"

"I want to do it for you."

Frank's jaw unhinged. Color rushed into his face with blazing fury and he snapped his head up, brows immediately furrowing. "For me?"

Gerard smiled so softly that Frank felt it blooming in his gut like the sunrise. "I know you want it, too. It's okay to say it, Frank. We could pretend I'm actually normal for once."

"It's not because I wish you were normal." Frank speedily corrected Gerard's assumption that was painfully incorrect. He had no idea how Gerard could think Frank would wish for something like that.

"Either way, you want it. It's your birthday, so your wish is my command." Gerard cheerily smiled, bumping against Frank's shoulder to shake him out of the cloudy apprehension settling over him. "It's a gift for both of us. Put it that way."

Frank always had difficulty saying no to Gerard. With a treacherous risk at hand, Frank wasn't so sure he wanted to cast the spell at all, but with the promise of loyalty counting as the force of will that would keep Gerard at his side, Frank couldn't find the strength to form the words of denial tucking the spell away for good. He would be lying if he said part of his selfishness didn't intervene. Gerard was hopeful, beaming encouragingly, and bits of rare sunlight after the rainfall came to a pause floated across the ill pale shade of his skin and the darkness of his painted lips giving him the appearance of a benevolent vampire looking for a happy bargain. Gerard deserved to be given life again. He deserved everything Frank could give him, and if he wanted something within his reach, it was impossible to rob him of it.

"All you have to do is bat your lashes and the world is yours, huh?" Frank sighed deeply, making a show out of it. Gerard shoved at his side and slid off the bed onto his feet. His thousand watt grin could've easily replaced the sun should it collapse and leave the earth without a source of light to revolve around. Frank's internal earth already spun around Gerard more times than he could count.

"I didn't even need to bat my eyelashes, actually." Gerard coyly smirked and flicked his skirt, nudging Frank's shoe with the toe of his boot.

"Alright." Frank took in a deep breath to brace himself for what was to come. The spell was relatively easily, perhaps a tad painful, but it was nothing he would cry over. If anything went wrong, he'd pay for it, but at least he'd face the consequences knowing he only tried to give a fragment of human happiness to the one he couldn't see him living the rest of his days without.

"We're in for one. Sit down while I get a knife."


	2. Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to my beta who I’m also lucky enough to call my partner. She’s amazing and her efforts and hard work are something I will always be grateful for. Lots of love, songbird. <3

Frank felt the stinging tearing of his flesh as he swiftly guided the sharp edge of the kitchen knife across his palm. He hissed at the nagging pain while his hand complained like a motherfucker, but nonetheless, balled up his fist and squeezed the stream of blood into the glass he stole away from the cabinet in the kitchen. Crimson fluid trickled into it and eventually formed a ring pooling at the bottom of the glass normally used for drinking things such as juice or refreshing water, never blood. He always reminded himself to dispose of the glass after he was finished using it. Supplies used in witchcraft were never to be recycled for other mundane tasks. Too much energy was tethered to it, good and bad.

"Frank, I don't wanna fucking drink that." Gerard moaned and seemed impossibly paler. He eyeballed the glass, completely petrified as if he hadn't quite literally seen what everyone was afraid of, death and what came after it.

"You're gonna have to if we're gonna get this spell to work." Frank squeezed his palm tighter and swore at the radiating sting moving through his palm. The shallow scrapes were always the most annoying.

"If I was a vampire, I'd totally be game, but I'm not. I'm so not. I don't think I've ever been more turned off to vampires." Gerard's nose scrunched up as he cringed away from the stream of blood flowing from Frank's wound.

"I didn't give myself the world's most aggravating gash just for you to back down." Frank gently uncurled his fist once enough blood trickled into the glass. He grabbed the folded towel resting beside him and dabbed at the shallow cut, pressing it down in attempt to halt the bleeding.

"Why is there blood involved? Can't I just . . . say a few prayers to Satan?" Gerard unwound the gauze and ripped a healthy amount free. He surprised Frank by guiding him in by his wrist and taking the towel from his palm, wrapping the white gauze around the wound. The first layer was stained in beads of crimson seeping through like blood in the snow.

"That's not the type of shit we should be messing with." Frank murmured, his lips twitching as he watched Gerard gingerly wrap his hand. "I don't know about you, but I'm not curious to know what Hell is really like."

"I knew a few Satanists back when I was alive. They were pretty peaceful."

"I'm not a Satanist." Frank carefully slid his hand out from between Gerard's once the bandages were successfully wrapped around his gash and thanked him. He'd have trouble explaining it to his mother, but he could come up with a suitable story. Frank picked up the spellbook and reiterated the spell out loud, including the instructions.

"What happens after I drink the blood?" Gerard picked up the glass, scrutinizing it with his face screwed up in disgust.

"It doesn't really say." Frank practically memorized the text, but checked again, his brows puckering to find the lack of detail that would confirm the spell had worked once the ritual was complete. He supposed they would automatically know if it wasn't written.

"That's helpful." Gerard flapped his hands. "What if I get struck by lightening?"

"This isn't a monster movie," Frank muttered. "And besides, if it was anything as extreme as that, it would surely say something in the book."

"Can we get this over with? Before I metaphorically shit myself?"

Frank related to Gerard's excess nerves, and possibly experienced the worst amount of stress since he was responsible for the outcome of it. His charms never went awry, but one could never become too confident in their own skill. The matter of life and death was placed in his cupped palms, either a precious gift or a fatal poison disrupting mother nature that would later unleash her wrath. He unsteadily took in a few deep breaths and positioned the book beside the flaming candles surrounding them in a sacred circle. Taking the black candle he stored away in case there was an occasional where it was required, Frank settled it between himself and Gerard. The silver lighter he had scooped out from his pocket unleashed a flame with a metallic shink, causing a shiver to ripple down his spine. slowly, he guided it to kiss the wick of the candle and drew it away once the fire caught on. It was eerie how it stood upright, completely still and needle sharp.

"That's creepy." Gerard whispered loudly, mirroring Frank's thoughts.

"Yeah." Frank whispered back. He tucked the lighter back into his pocket and locked eyes with Gerard. Gerard's eyes were comically huge and surrounded by dark shadows only making them look unreal as the orange glow from the candles flickered across his face. "Are you ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." Gerard skimmed his hands over his knees and straightened his back. Frank reached out to grab his hands and Gerard stretched the rest of the way. They clasped them together tightly, solid and cold flesh meeting warm and soft. Frank cleared his throat.

"Repeat after me. Then we're gonna say it together." Frank waited until Gerard nodded to speak the chant out loud. A crease formed on Gerard's forehead as he slowly reiterated it, almost stumbling with the words, but he managed to speak it again clearly. Their voices mingled as they repeated it and got into a steady rhythm. Tones and pronunciation became one in a clear ring to the point where Frank was struck by the familiar sensation of magic flowing out through his veins towards his hands, resonating warmly in his fingertips. The buzzing sensation streaming through his body began to rush with more force. Gerard's wondering eyes rounded in traces of fear stared down at their connected hands as he felt the transfusion of magic sinking under his flesh and towards the inside where he was transparent, a mass of energy, striking the core as Frank willed it to do so with intense amounts of concentration. Frank's brows were lowered and creased while breaking down the elements of his magic, creating energy that radiated and caused the candlelight surrounding them to wildly dance. The black candle between them slowly rose, a serpent gliding upwards from hidden recesses. Frank's heart began to pound feeling the spell near its peak.

"Drink the blood, G. You have to do it now." Frank stopped chanting for a brief moment to instruct Gerard. He quickly fell back into step and stared ahead into Gerard's face.

Gerard quickly let go of one of Frank's hands to wrap his own around the glass. His nose wrinkled and he frantically batted his lashes in distress, but there was no time to be wasted. Gerard grimaced and swiftly lifted the glass to his lips to intake the blood in a single gulp he shoved down his throat before he could truly taste it. Despite trying not to taste anything, the residue lingered, and Gerard gagged, a string of blood trickling down his lower lip. He swept it up with his tongue and shuddered. Then, Gerard gasped brokenly, clutching his chest. Alarmingly, he appeared to be choking inaudibly, fingers wrapping around his pale throat as his eyes went wider than ever. They blindly darted everywhere and he shivered violently, slowly slumping. Frank was sliced with bright and hot panic, but he couldn't stop the spell or else they'd need to start from the beginning. He continued chanting, every word becoming a struggle to get out, and he clutched tightly onto Gerard's hand that was still clasped in his own, squeezing for life as he folded in on himself. Magic pulsated through Frank and ricocheted through his entire being like internal fireworks bouncing through his insides. It flowed through him, causing the candles to wildly sway, and Gerard's skin to glow through the surface. It was almost finished, Frank sensed it, though he wished he could pause when he couldn't stand to see Gerard suffocating anymore.

Frank's heart stuttered and almost stilled completely when Gerard called out his name a split second before he collapsed onto the ground, and the explosiveness of the spell passed. The candles wiped out swiftly in a wisp of dissipating smoke, the orange glow dying out in a sweeping dark shadow. Gerard's hand slid out of Frank's grasp and limply landed beside him. The black candle shrank down in a slow slithering motion before it too faded into the mere remnants of fire. Frank gasped from the release of pressure clamping down around his body, his ears ringing loudly for a moment. He couldn't spend a second capturing his breath. He shakily shoved the candles and the spell book aside to crawl across the soft carpet so he could kneel beside his best friend in a panicked state.

"Gerard? Gerard, can you hear me?" Frank shoved at Gerard's surprisingly solid shoulder until he rolled over onto his back in an unconscious heap. Frank went pale.

"Gerard!" Frank hissed, shaking his shoulders. His stomach swooped and fell towards the ground where it would likely bury itself underneath it. "Oh, you motherfucker, don't you dare die more than you already have."

His hammering heartbeat rose up to his throat and choked him, panic pulling apart his insides. He curved his hands around Gerard's shoulders and hauled his limp body towards him. He froze for a solid second, realizing something was different.

The temperature was off. Gerard didn't feel like a slab of cold cement. Frank's fingers dug into his flesh that gave like normal, human flesh. He felt like a cold object thawing in the sunlight naturally. Frank's eyes flew open wide. Had the spell worked? Was unconsciousness part of the deal? Frank gently pushed Gerard back onto the ground and hovered over him. Tentatively and with shaking breaths, he brushed Gerard's hair away from his face so it wouldn't obscure him. Frank was flabbergasted by the flow of blood slowly rising in his cheeks and flushing them a subtle pink. It wasn't an illusion, not as Frank's trembling fingertips grazed Gerard's cheek. Smooth and tender, and there was no mistake to be made; there was warmth in his skin. Frank slipped his fingers over Gerard's jaw and quickly leaned down with his ear turned towards his face.

Gerard was breathing.

Frank sharply gasped and recoiled like something struck him. He curled his hand around his ear at first that had been tickled by the humidity of breath fanning across it. Frank's chest was practically heaving. His heart thudded impossibly loudly, especially as he pressed his fingers to Gerard's neck and found the jumping rhythm of a pulse. Gerard's heart was in motion, his lungs were functioning, and blood filled his skin with the healthy glow of human life. There was no other explanation for the flush and the warmth; Gerard was alive.

"Oh my fucking god," Frank whispered tremulously, "Gerard. Gerard, wake the fuck up!" Frank violently grabbed Gerard by his arms and rattled him. He needed Gerard to wake up and see everything for himself, to feel the effects of the spell's success reviving him from a stone cold form. He was desperate for Gerard to awaken and immediately sense the pulsing rhythm of a heartbeat in his chest.

Thankfully, with enough rattling and a few open palmed pats to the cheek to snap him out of his unconsciousness, Gerard sucked in a ragged gulp of air and roused. His eyes fluttered blearily in disorientation, his lips smacking, as if he was awakening from a deep sleep in the morning after hearing the annoying trill of an alarm. Frank stared in shock. Wouldn't it be painful to suddenly function again after being lifeless for so long? Gerard came to consciousness as if he was slumbering, realms away in a peaceful dreamland. Frank's mouth hung open as he stared.

"Wha?" Gerard slurred tiredly. He squinted, his head rolling from side to side. "Whasgoinon?"

"Gerard, wake up." Frank grabbed Gerard's face and stared down at him. Gerard's eyes flew open wide at the touch and suddenly, he was awake. Redness flooded his face instantly. He darted up and nearly butted heads with Frank. Luckily, Frank's reflexes were quick, and he managed to steer out of the way in time. His heartbeat skipped as Gerard was alert and sitting up straight, looking around the room frantically.

"The spell! The spell, I — what the fuck?" Gerard's hands flew to his throat, then trailed down to his chest that was rising and falling rapidly. He coughed loudly, his eyes bulging, and he patted all over his body. He shakily shifted into his hands and knees, then supported himself on unsteady limbs, groaning. He rubbed at the side of his head from a possible head rush swirling through his brain. He took wobbly stepped back as he touched all over his face, his arms, his hair. Cervine eyes stared in a mixture of horror and wonder at Frank who was frozen on the ground, paralyzed with shock that the spell worked. Gerard was a flesh and blood human being again. Frank hadn't fucked it up.

"You're alive." Frank whispered. Then, louder, he exclaimed, "You're alive! Like, actually alive!"

"Dude, your mom is gonna hear." Gerard fell back on the bed in a daze. He was breathing hard, still feeling his skin that was soft and flushed from the blood under it. He laughed bizarrely without any humor in his eyes as he cupped his hands around his face. "Holy shit, I can feel the blood moving in my veins. That's so fucking weird. I — everything's kinda too loud."

"What's too loud?" Frank managed to push himself into his feet, uncertainty lingering at the center of the room.

"My heartbeat. My breathing. Holy fuck, Frank, I have a heartbeat!" Gerard breathed out as if it barely struck him that the main vessel of life was thumping again, pushing blood into his system, keeping his lungs functioning. Slowly, the horror began to ebb away, replaced with glee Frank had never seen in Gerard before despite having seen multiple grins and beams separating him from an ordinary lost soul.

"It worked." Frank whispered. "You're actually alive again."

"I'm alive! I'm alive, I'm alive." Gerard struggled to keep his volume down as his excitement escalated rapidly. He vibrated as he darted up onto his feet and ran over to the full length mirror behind Frank's door. He stared at himself in pure wonder, at the liveliness sparkling in his eyes, the rosy fullness of his cheeks, the warm toned ivory skin dotted in little freckles here and there that weren't very visible before. Gerard ran his fingers through his hair that shone with life and he giggled, clear and bright. He was so beautiful that Frank felt a familiar ache in his chest again. He was exactly the way Frank envisioned him, and even lovelier because he was truly happy, the happiest he'd ever been.

Then, Gerard started laughing. He kept laughing, nearly struggling to breath from how much laughter he released. He spun around and ran to Frank like a baby deer learning how to walk as the circulation in his limbs adjusted. Frank was taken aback by the large embrace he was yanked into. It was a little awkward since Gerard was a few inches taller and even more so with chunky platforms, but Gerard adjusted him so Frank was on his tip toes, his head resting on Gerard's upper chest. Frank's heart flourished with warmth. His stomach tingled and became fuzzy to hear and feel Gerard's elated laughter, the pull of air in his lungs, and the heat of his skin that was far softer than he could've ever imagined. Frank was completely breathless to be in the embrace of a very human Gerard.

"Thank you, Frank." Gerard graciously breathed into Frank's hair, eliciting a shiver from him. "Thank you so much. This feels amazing."

"You're welcome." Frank stuttered out. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face into Gerard's jacket, breathing him in. "I just wanted to make you happy."

Gerard squeezed him tighter and they remained tangled up in each other's arms, eyes sealing shut to bask in the expansion of Gerard's chest before the air fluttered out through his nostrils. Frank felt the thud of his heart inside his chest and a feeling of surrealism spilled over him. He blinked his eyes that felt awfully wet and wrapped his arms around Gerard tight with the intention of not letting go for another solid moment.

Unfortunately for Frank, Gerard peeled himself out of their hug, bright spots of pink in his cheeks and his eyes glittering in shock. "Oh my god. Frank. I think I need to take a piss."

Frank blinked a few times, processing the odd suddenness of what Gerard said. "Uh, well. The bathroom is across the hall?"

"I need to pee! I haven't peed in decades!" Gerard was wildly excited over something that shouldn't have been thrilling at all to an ordinary person, but Frank supposed it must've been for him.

Gerard raced towards the door and flung it open, surprising Frank's mother who was making his way down the hallway. Frank hurriedly kicked the spellbook and the candles under the bed, yanking the glass stained in blood off the ground and hiding it behind his back.

"I need to _pee!_ " Gerard exclaimed with an elated giggle and launched himself into the bathroom, the door slamming behind him, but not masking the sound of his laughter.

"What was that about?" Linda asked, bewildered.

Frank shrugged in feigned nonchalance. "He's weird like that." He made sure she was out of the doorframe before he hid the glass in the closet, breathing out a sigh of relief.

After Gerard cleared his bladder and returned with a look of enthrallment on his face, he wrapped an arm around Frank's waist, spinning around him in a circle and drawing him into another hug that was short lived, yet it still caused Frank's cheeks to fill with blood.

"Frank!" Gerard said in a sing-song voice, "I'm starving. And I think I need water, my tongue is super fuckin' dry."

"Just cause you're alive again doesn't make me your waiter." Frank grumbled in dismay, but let up when he captured the incandescent sparkle in Gerard's eyes staring at Frank with adoration that hadn't been there before. It was only because of the spell, Frank told himself, a whole new sensation of gratefulness caused Gerard to beam at Frank like he was the fucking rainbow after the storm.

"I'll give you all of my candy when we go trick or treating later. Actually, maybe just half." Gerard considered what he was offering. "No — you can keep everything except for the suckers."

"I don't need your candy. C'mon, I'll make you some killer vegan chicken strips."

"You don't have normal chicken strips?"

"Of course not, I'm not a meat eating dinosaur." Frank feigned offense and elicited a humored snort from his companion.

"Fine. Vegan chicken strips it is." Gerard sighed melodramatically and slumped his shoulders on the way to the door, Frank riding on his tails while feeling like his feet never truly touched the ground.

—

"Oh my god." Gerard collapsed back in the kitchen chair and laid a hand on his swollen belly, huffing loudly. "I forgot how to know when to stop eating."

"You ate the whole fucking bag." Frank wouldn't have warmed the food if he minded it, but he was amazed by Gerard's stomach capacity, and perhaps a bit frightened that he could consume that much without sweating at the very least.

"I feel like I'm gonna blow up," Gerard moaned and tilted his head back, "Or throw up."

Frank directed his eyes that instantly connected with the pale column of Gerard's throat being exposed when he tilted his head that way. Frank flushed deeply and twisted his hands in his lap. "Don't blow chunks on the table, man, my mom's gonna be pissed."

"I'm fine. I think." Gerard took a steady intake of breath and released it through rounded lips. His head lulled forward and he stared at Frank through his lashes, lips quirking upwards. "Thank you, Frankie. I'm sorry I ate all the chicken strips."

Frank's stomach warmed all over again, the cliche butterflies inside fluttering helplessly. "It's really hard to say no to you."

"Well . . . you should've told me to stop eating, cause I don't know how I'm gonna get up now." Gerard rubbed his sore stomach and giggled in slight chagrin, ducking his head down low.

"You need to get up at some point, or our plans will be ruined." Frank retrieved Gerard's empty plate from the table and went to dump it in the sink. When he returned, Gerard was reaching out for him with his fingers spread out, a plea for help silently crying out to Frank in his eyes. He stuck his lower lip out and wriggled his fingers in a grabbing motion.

Frank chuckled quietly and grabbed onto Gerard's hands, his stomach flipping anew at the sensation of slightly clammy and warm flesh in place of the solid chill he was used to. He helped Gerard onto his feet while quietly musing, finding a bit of pride within himself to have successfully given Gerard the breath of temporary life through his powers. It gave him quite a piece of credit, broadening his own awareness of his abilities. Regardless of how he felt, he decided he wouldn't be dabbling in magic involving life and death out of fear of what it may cause.

Frank immediately let go of Gerard's hands once he was finished lugging the other up, but Gerard remained close. He looked down at Frank with warmth in his eyes doing indescribable things to Frank as he attempted to keep as collected as possible. Gerard was realer than ever, thus, increasing the depth of every emotion flickering across his gaze already holding the strongest form of gravity any planet wished it could emit.

"Frank . . ." Gerard started, then came to a pause, chuckling once and casting his eyes downwards shyly. "Actually, it's kinda stupid."

"What is it?" Frank needed to know now that he was aware something rose to the forefront of Gerard's mind before he quickly dismissed it. He hated when Gerard rebuked himself for any of the thoughts he had; Frank could never think anything Gerard thought of was foolish.

"I just got here. I shouldn't be thinking about this stuff already." Gerard rubbed his lips together to blend out the lipstick partially taken away after devouring lunch. Frank's eyes flickered down to his lips fleetingly.

"What are you thinking about?" Frank asked with an inkling already installing several possibilities into his consideration.

"Let's save it for later." Gerard said in a subdued manner raising Frank's suspicions and concerns, but before Frank could press for anything, Gerard was already snatching his wrist and tugging him towards the hallway. "We need to get you in a costume already. I'm not letting you be lame on Halloween."

Frank's protests came out in a scramble of stammered phrases. He was surprised by Gerard's strength, the heat seeping in through his sleeve from Gerard's hand wrapped tightly around his wrist. His protests dissolved and buzzed faintly at his lips as a rush of blood came forward in his cheeks like a scarlet hue on a canvas.

"Jesus, you're bossy." Frank drew his hand away once they were in his bedroom and the door swung shut behind him again. "I should've let you continue being Casper the friendly ghost."

"At least you admitted I'm friendly." Gerard remarked, sticking his tongue out as he swiftly passed by Frank.

Frank refrained from rolling his eyes and his mouth was permanently set in a softened smile. He stood in the center of the room and shoved his hands in his pockets, sighing heavily. "I actually did buy a costume."

Gerard turned to look at him with wild, disbelieving eyes, a short laugh falling from his lips. "Dude! Why aren't you wearing it?"

"It's a surprise." Frank scratched the side of his neck suddenly being flooded in the same flush assaulting his cheeks. He wished he wasn't so bashful about everything, or borderline anxious when it came to attention. His fingers twitched in his pockets.

"Can I see it?" Gerard asked excitedly. He landed backwards in the bed, the springs creaking under his weight and the mattress bouncing. He kicked his feet, resting his hands on the covers.

"Yes. But you need to close your eyes first." Frank took a step backwards towards the double door adjacent to him.

Gerard quirked an eyebrow suspiciously, lips curved into a subtle smile. "Are you gonna try to scare me?"

"No. But I should, for when you scared the shit out of me earlier."

"I'll take my karma next time," Gerard playfully rolled his eyes. "Are you gonna show me now?"

"Close your eyes first." Frank pointedly gestured to Gerard's face.

Gerard let out a melodramatic sigh, but nonetheless slipped his eyes shut, relaxing in his seat. Frank kept his eyes trained on his face for a few seconds to assure he wouldn't open them again. He slinked over to the closet and nudge the sliding door open slightly, blocking the parts that were revealed. He flashed a look over his shoulder and found Gerard had one eyes cracked open slightly.

"I said close your eyes!" Frank cried.

"Alright, fine!" Gerard made a frustrated noise with his tongue and squeezed his eyes shut, crossing his arms over his chest like a spoiled child. Frank narrowed his eyes for a moment longer and turned back when the coast was clear. He slid the door all the way open and reached inside for the wide brimmed hat resting at the top of the closet above the row of clothes nearly strung inside. He stood on the tips of his toes, struggling a bit, but managed to ensnare the edges between his fingers. He made a noise of triumph when it tumbled into his hands, including the prop he nestled inside. Frank shut the door quickly and shook out the hat, working out the folds, his tongue pressed to the corner of his lips.

Frank turned and saw Gerard was impatiently tapping his foot and the corners of his faintly smiling lips were twitching, his eyes still shut. Frank held back a bit of laughter building in his chest and seizing his gut. He straightened out the witch hat decorated in purple crescent moons, adjusting the buckle wrapped around the base of the cone shaped top. He nestled it onto his head, adjusting his hair, tipping it accordingly so the brim wouldn't loom over his line of vision. Frank tucked the stuffed black cat dressed in a purple and green cape in the cradle of his arms, arranging the whiskers that had gotten somewhat smashed while being stored away momentarily. He chose the costume himself to get a kick out of the inside joke only he and Gerard could fully understand. Frank hadn't planned to go beyond what he adorned himself with then, but the simplicity wasn't as simple as it seemed to others, rendering it more than enough for it to be the perfect outfit of choice.

"You can open your eyes now," Frank told Gerard, "Just brace yourself."

"Brace myself? Oh, please don't tell me you're naked." Gerard coughed out a laugh, causing his eyes to flash open, and when they did, he choked on an intake of breath he rapidly sucked in.

Frank was glowing crimson from the comment Gerard made about unexpected nakedness, but he didn't allow it to phase him. Frank posed awkwardly with the black cat, tipping the witch hat, letting Gerard take in the details of the irony of it all. Frank's lips stretched into a sheepish grin instinctively. He brushed a lock of hair away from his eyes and stroked the tail of the green eyed stuffed pet held against his chest.

"Fuckin' great, right?" Frank snickered at his own self, fixing the angle of the hat he found was tilted slightly in the front direction.

"This is genius." Gerard leapt up and walked towards Frank with grabbing hands, a bright beam fixed onto his face. He reached for Frank and wriggled the hat, tapping the stuffed animal on the tip of its pink nose. Gerard burst into giggles and Frank turned the other way bashfully, a tendril for embarrassment making his heart hammer.

"I thought it would be funny, you know?" Frank tucked the cat under his arm. "An actual witchy guy wearing a fake witch hat."

"Are you saying there's real witch hats?" Gerard tugged the brim.

"I don't think so," Frank's lips spread into an even wider smile the second he turned and saw Gerard's luminous grin. "I would've had one by now if there were real witch hats."

"This is so fucking cute, Frank. Like actually adorable." Gerard's head cocked to the side as he looked down into Frank's eyes with spring melting the sentiment in his smile. Everything was glowing amber suddenly and Frank swore he was disintegrating into a puddle at his feet. Frank gulped down a bundle of nerves and the strangest nervous laugh bubbled in his throat.

"Adorable is a stretch. I'm just — let's leave it at genius." Frank deliberately decided before he melted in all actuality.

"Nah, you're so cute." Gerard wedged the stuffed cat out from where it was trapped under Frank's stiff arm, practically suffocating from the pressure. Whoops. "So is this little friend."

"Oh, yeah, I got him at Walgreen's. Weird place to find a stuffed cat, but." Frank rolled his lips into his mouth and cleared his throat, shifting on his feet.

"I'm gonna name him Frankie. After you." Gerard pressed the cold plastic of the cat's nose against Frank's cheek as a sign of its affection, or his own, Frank couldn't decide. All he knew was that his heart lurched forward as though to escape and messily nestle into Gerard's chest. That was wrong, so wrong of Frank to want that, but he was only human and resisting unwanted desire was more of a struggle than he could've ever deciphered before experiencing it firsthand.

"That's plain. Name him Bartholomew or something." Frank weakly chuckled and stroked the top of the cat's head.

" _Bartholo-mew!_ " Gerard exclaimed. "You're full of genius ideas. I wish we could swap brains for a day."

"You don't want that." Frank breathed uneasily and the strangled laugh appeared again. He walked past Gerard quickly. "Okay well, I'm definitely wearing this later when we go out. For now, we have a few hours to kill."

"Can we watch movies like we did last year?" Gerard planted himself directly in front of Frank again with bright eyes, his question lingering heavily in his raised eyebrows and eyes that always widened whenever he expected an answer to something.

"Yeah, of course. I kinda promised we'd watch The Craft, right?" Frank upheld on all of his promises to Gerard.

"You owe me a couple of witches." Gerard was already getting started by removing his chunky boots, revealing purple and black striped socks matching with the aesthetic of the holiday. He plopped himself down onto the bed after discarding his shoes and sprawled out, resting the black cat upright on top of his stomach.

"Let me get my laptop then." Frank carefully placed the witch hat on top of his dresser and retrieved his laptop from his desk, carrying over the charger to plug into the extension cord.

The pair settled onto the bed that was far too small to be sharing, but Frank relished in the parts of them that had no other choice then to touch, repressing continuous shivers to feel the solidity of human flesh as well as the body heat melding pleasantly with his as the chill from the autumn day outside inched silently into the house. Frank balanced the laptop between them as he loaded the movie onto Netflix, but as he constantly glanced from the corner of his eye at Gerard, he found him transfixed on the movement of his breath elevating the stuffed animal situated in his stomach, his hand pressed against the upper part of his abdomen as though he couldn't believe the breath passing through him was his own. Frank carefully watched for any signs of side affects, worrying over the possibilities that could've fallen over Gerard such as illnesses or fevers, outbreaks of strange rashes or peculiar patterns in his functions. So far, Gerard was in one secure piece, if not a bit wobbly on his feet and permanently flushed as blood finally flooded through his veins again. Frank worried his lip between his teeth, watching Gerard raise his fingers in front of his face to observe the slight tremble that never fully dissipated in every human being; everything in a person was alive, vibrating, moving. The atoms that never allowed any portion of the body to hold still. Frank was just as awed by such a subtle thing making its appearance in Gerard. They were the same then, two human beings, with warm blood, soft tissue, and a pulsing heart.

Gerard suddenly flashed his eyes over to Frank's. Their gazed linked and Frank almost looked away, but instead, he found himself smiling dotingly. The softest smile to ever graze his lips, not transient or barely visible. He'd never felt closer to Gerard, but they were finally one of the same kind. The feeling increased as Gerard returned the look, lowering his hand onto his stomach again.

The movie played as they were comfortably silent for the half of it. Frank barely focused as he was constantly aware of Gerard. A protective instinct kicked in tenfold, making him aware of every slight movement in case the peacefulness that fell upon them was broken by anything unpleasant. Frank felt almost expectant of it, but nothing came, and relief rolled across him each time Gerard shifted the slightest bit and he realized it was only an instinctive twitch or an adjustment for comfort. Gerard knew; he always locked eyes with Frank and tilted his mouth up at one side, nodding once. Frank would relax and lower his head against the pile of pillows again, fixing his eyes on the screen for a minute.

The silence was broken by Gerard speaking in a croaky voice and a languid tone. "I haven't felt sleepy in so long."

Frank turned his eyes away from the screen. Gerard's head was lulling into the pillows, so near to Frank that he felt it and the warmth of his breath as it evened out. Gerard was staring at the laptop screen with eyes lowered into thin slits he struggled to keep open. He blearily blinked and cuddled close to the stuffed cat he still held.

"You can sleep." Frank whispered reassuringly to him.

"You sure?" Gerard slurred out.

"I'm sure." Frank wanted Gerard to experience the peace of sleep again, the richness of nodding off after reaching a stage of total relaxation. He knew Gerard felt safest with him, so he'd been told before, and he could only imagine the comfort he felt to be human again in Frank's home draped over the softness of a mattress and pillows to cradle his sleepy head.

"M'kay." Gerard whispered, sighing softly. In a minute, he dozed off, soft snores gradually rising up. Frank chuckled at how quickly he fell asleep and lowered the volume of the movie so it wouldn't disrupt Gerard's slumber.

Gerard's eyelashes were long at the tops of his cheeks. His slowed breaths came out through parted lips shaped in dark lipstick, his hair coming to cradle the side of his face that was still alabaster despite life coursing through him again. Frank couldn't believe the tenderness that came over him while watching Gerard sleep soundly beside him. He saw Gerard's hand twitch, his lips whisper something unknown to him, and his head slipped off the pillows to land on Frank's shoulder. Frank felt the resonation of the touch spring down his arm and flare through his chest. He gasped, but not loudly enough to startle Gerard out of his sleep. Frank stared at Gerard, color filling his cheeks, and couldn't bring himself to carefully readjust Gerard so his head wouldn't rest on his shoulder. He felt the warmth and softness of his cheek, the tickle of his hair, and felt whole for once. Frank inhaled a shuddering sigh, knowing it would tear him apart, but he couldn't stop it once it made itself known, twisting and flickering through him like a restless flame.

"I know what I wish," Frank whispered so softly it was unheard to all ears except for his. "I wish it was always like this. So I could keep you. And you could keep me."

Gerard curled his legs up towards his chest and nestled into a little ball plastered against Frank's side. Frank's eyes slipped shut. He buried a phantom kiss in Gerard's hair and promised it would never be known to the latter. Frank rested his cheek against the top of his head and slowly shut the laptop, the movie cutting off abruptly. He listened to Gerard's breathing and allowed himself to soak up the peace he felt in Gerard's presence, because it was only an evanescent occurrence, and his completeness was never built to last.

——

Frank was woken up by Gerard stirring wildly. His eyes cracked open, squinting to find the room was a few shades darker than he remembered. He hadn't realized the sound of Gerard's even breathing lulled him into a state of sleep, but it was then that he realized the peace was shattered by Gerard sharply inhaling panicked breaths. Frank immediately lifted his head and his eyes darted wide open. He was far too warm with Gerard restlessly squirming and flushed, having curled further into Frank in his sleep. His head rested in Frank's chest and one arm heavily draped across his waist to wrap securely around him, the stuffed cat discarded on the bed at some point. Frank chose to ignore the closeness and ran soothing fingers through Gerard's hair to coax him out of the unpleasant dreams plaguing his slumber.

"Gerard? You okay?" Frank murmured down to him, gently shaking his shoulder.

Gerard sharply arose from his sleep. Another shuddering gasp worked through his parted lips. "Mikey?" He frantically called out. He lifted his head from Frank's chest.

Frank's blood went still before resuming in a sympathetic chill coursing through his veins. It wasn't a name he regularly heard, but it was familiar enough for Frank to figure out what the nightmare causing Gerard to grow restless was about.

"You were dreaming, G." Frank rested a comforting hand on Gerard's shoulder.

Gerard exhaled tremulously. He turned his head and looked up at Frank with vulnerable eyes glistening at the edges, some of his makeup smeared on one eyes from sleep. Gerard groaned softly and squeezed his eyes tightly shut, his head falling back against Frank's chest for a moment before he realized the position they were in. He tore himself away and pushed back on the other side of the bed, cheeks swirling with redness.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." Gerard breathed out sheepishly over his own sleepy mobility. "I was hanging all over you."

"It's fine. I fell asleep, too." Frank chose not to tell Gerard the comfort he found in Gerard's closeness and how his sleep was the most peaceful bit of time he had in years. Frank's own cheeks heated and he tugged at the sleeves of his hoodie, twisting around to face Gerard. "You, um, had a nightmare?"

Gerard faltered. He bit onto his lower lip and sighed as he sagged against the pillows, raking his hand through his disheveled dark hair. "Yeah. Kind of."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Frank offered softly and gave Gerard the option to reject it. Frank didn't always open up about his nightmares when he preferred to leave them in the past.

"I just . . . holidays make me think of him. Of Mikey." Gerard confessed in a frail whisper. He turned over onto his side and looked into Frank's eyes like a small child who sought out comfort. "We were so close. We loved Halloween. It was tradition to carve a pumpkin and have our mom choose whose was best."

Frank's heart gave a plummeting lurch. He nodded slowly. "I know. I'm sorry."

"I left him all alone. He was just a kid." Gerard averted his eyes. "I was too. I wasn't ready to leave anyone behind."

Frank's eyes flickered along Gerard's forlorn face suddenly drawn with the truth of his age underneath the frozen youth. It indicated unresolved sadness, longing, and anger keeping him tethered to the earth instead of moving forward.

"What . . . what happened to you?" Frank whispered, his lips nearly trembling. "You said you weren't ready."

Buried pain from decades of silence in the darkness flashed quickly across Gerard's eyes before he screwed them shut again, banishing the memories Frank was so curious to know, but only for the comfort of his dearest friend. He wasn't sure how to carry his hurting otherwise.

"Another time, Frankie. I'm sorry. I just can't talk about it right now." Gerard took in a deep breath that trembled at the edges when he released it, abrasive against Frank's heart that always ached for him.

"Will you tell me?" Frank met Gerard's eyes imploringly when they opened again. "I want to know how to — how to comfort you. I don't know what to do sometimes."

The gentleness in Gerard's eyes returned the youth to his face. He reached out and brushed his fingers across Frank's knuckles, sending tingling sparks under Frank's skin. "I'll tell you eventually. You do more than enough for me, don't you know that?"

"Not really, I guess." Frank floundered under the unexpected affection. He licked his lips and quickly looked away. "Take your time, okay?"

"I appreciate the patience." Gerard drew his hand away, much to Frank's dismay, and sat upright on the bed. He grabbed for the black cat laying discarded beside him and fondled with its ears. "It's getting dark already."

"Yeah, it's—" Frank grabbed his phone he hadn't touched all day from the side table to check the time. "Fuck, we slept for two hours."

"God, I didn't even get to finish the movie." Gerard breathed timorously and brushed his hair away from his face. "Sorry about that. It felt so good to sleep again."

"Don't even apologize. Get as much as experience as you can while you're still this way, you know?" Frank pushed himself into an upright position with a disarming smile.

Gerard returned the sentiment and toyed with the cat's paws absentmindedly. "I know. Speaking of which, we should go out soon."

"Right." Frank slid off the bed and carried his laptop back to its previous place. He pulled out two jack-o-lantern buckets from the closet and waggled them in the air, catching Gerard's grin before tossing one his way. "I came prepared."

"Fucking awesome. Way better than plastic bags." Gerard stroked his thumb over the split and grinning mouth of the neon orange jack-o-lantern. He nodded in approval.

"My parents are probably gone by now." Frank grabbed his phone and his witch hat. Heading out the door, he stepped out into the hallway, meeting a silent household. He called out for his mother and no response came after. "Huh. She probably didn't wanna wake us up."

"That means we can eat candy instead of dinner." Gerard bumped Frank's side on the way out of the door, swiveling around to walk backwards with a crooked smirk.

"I'm not spending Halloween without eating a gigantic pizza from Guido's. You know how much I fucking love their pizza."

"I'm gonna devour the whole thing, just warning you."

"Fucker. There's no way I'd let you do that." Frank slipped back into the room quickly and grabbed the cosmetics laying abandoned on the table. "Touch up your lipstick, diva, you look like Nancy after she goes in—"

"No spoilers! I didn't finish the movie!"

"Whatever. You'd find out anyway." Frank placed the lipstick in Gerard's hand and ignored the daggers being glared into him. "You can't kill me with your eyes, Gerard."

"I'm not gonna kill you," Gerard rolled his eyes and uncapped the lipstick to refresh his makeup. "Maybe I'll bump you into the road and call it in accident."

"I'll be waiting for that." Frank grinned.

Outside, groups of children and other friends emerged from their houses at the first signs of the night. The roads were slicked with fresh rain, but the clouds parted and glided towards the east, plums and deep blues painting the sky and gradually growing darker with every passing second. The crisp autumn air sunk under Frank's hoodie and chilled his cheeks, along with the tip of his nose tinting red, a feature Gerard found adorable much to Frank's chagrin. Gerard's apparel and makeup was more wicked in the night, especially with the disarray of his hair after not bothering to fix it after taking a moment in the day to sleep again for the first time in too long. His pale skin contrasted with the darkness of the evening and his clothes, and Frank felt plain beside him, but he couldn't bring himself to feel so insecure when he relished in Gerard's pure beauty radiating out from the inside as well.

People in the neighborhood passing out candy were amused by their costumes, some arching an eyebrow at Gerard's choice, but complimenting it in the end. Frank held onto Bartholo-mew and tucked her into the deep pockets of his hoodie so her small head poked out curiously. Gerard would reach over and pat the top of her head here and there, wishing she was real, and Frank considering using a charm to transform her into a living being for the other half of Gerard's human experience they had yet to reach. Frank guided Gerard through the loops of the neighborhood and their laughter bounced through the wide spaces, mingling with the gleeful giggles of children and the distant screams erupting from the inside of haunted houses the larger houses hosted.

All was going well until Frank and Gerard crossed paths with a very familiar group of people; none other than Frank's friends who stuck around after school to attend the university or community college not far from their town. Frank went completely still when they recognized him and called out his name, walking towards them.

"You know them?" Gerard asked quietly beside Frank in a curious voice.

"Uh. Yeah, they're my friends." Frank's throat was tight. What would he say about Gerard on the spot? His reason for his mother wouldn't work on friends he'd known for a large portion of his life.

"Hey Frankie!" Ray Toro called out, splattered in fake blood and special effects wounds. He waved enthusiastically and the group stopped in front of him, happy to see him. It wasn't that Frank wasn't glad to see his friends; he cared for them, but he stammered when he realized they were glancing curiously at Gerard, someone they'd never met or heard about.

"Hey guys." Frank anxiously readjusted his hat. "It's been a while."

"Hell yeah, where have you been?" Jamia asked, dressed as a rosy cheeked Snow White.

"I've just been . . . y'know, adjusting. I dropped my classes for a while, so I'm getting back on my feet."

"I heard about that. Sorry, dude. College is hard." Adam stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders with a sympathetic look. He was dressed as George Micheal with the long hair to match.

"Yeah, tell me about it. Sorry I haven't really been in touch. I planned on meeting up soon."

"Just don't ghost us, man, we miss you." Ray said genuinely, making Frank's chest ache from the guilt.

"I'm sorry." Frank apologized for his distance.

"Don't kick yourself too hard." Jamia swept her bangs across her forehead and looked over Gerard curiously. "Hey, I don't think we've met before."

Frank's heart stuttered and set off into a pounding rhythm. He looked at Gerard in a panic and was surprised to find Gerard was completely at ease. He beamed kindly at the group of friends and shook his head, rocking back on his heels.

"We haven't! But I've heard about you. My name is Gerard." Gerard reached out and shook their hands to each of their surprise. "I'm Frank's cousin-in-law. My mom got remarried to his uncle."

Frank stared in awe, his eyes huge. Gerard glanced at him quickly and his foot discreetly knocked into Frank's. A notion letting him know he got it.

"Nice to meet you. And nice costume." Adam commented.

"What are you supposed to be?" Jamia asked, enthused by Gerard's open nature.

"Nancy. From The Craft." Gerard did a quick spin, a grin lifting the corners of his mouth. "Or just a goth chick, whatever you wanna call it."

"You're both witches," Ray grinned, "Rad. Frank, you just look like yourself."

"I have a hat and this little cat." Frank defended himself and pulled out the stuffed black cat, causing Jamia to squeal. "Go for Adam's neck, he's not even dressing as anything."

"Hey, going as myself is pretty scary."

"Agreed." Ray's laughter bounced through the neighborhood. "Hey, you remember Cortez? He's having a party tonight, he said I could invite anyone I wanted. Do you guys wanna come with us?"

"Oh, that sounds like fun." Gerard's eyes went wide and pleadingly flickered down to Frank, a single question shining through him and even living on the curve of his smile.

Frank normally detested parties, they were horribly hard on his social anxiety and they tended to give him headaches so intense he wished for death to come to him quick. But, Frank's main issue in the end was being unable to say no to Gerard. Worsening his weakness was the perfect opportunity for Gerard to socialize again, relish in normal human enjoyment before he was trapped inside the abandoned house again until Frank figured out other ways to break the chains.

Frank weakly smiled, a breathy laugh falling from him. "Yeah, sure. Sounds like fun."

"Fucking awesome," Ray grinned a contagious smile. "It's just a few blocks away, we can walk together."

"I love parties. Have you guys been to many?" Gerard immediately hopped over beside Frank's friends and launched into conversation with them, coaxing plenty of laughter and impressed faces out of them. Frank joined in and continued forgetting to make comments over his awe due to how naturally Gerard situated into the flow of current society, how sociable and ecstatic he was over every topic they got into. He looked a bit confused when things about pop culture were brought up, but thankfully, Frank's friends were old school, and most of the things they mentioned were familiar with Gerard. Frank was relieved his friends weren't so mainstream, otherwise Gerard would be lost on everything they spoke about.

The party was overflowing with people, as Frank suspected it would be, and already his palms began to sweat. The thump of Halloween music felt like a pulse beneath his feet when they stepped inside and the brush of shoulders against his own from people attempting to squeeze out of the doorway made Frank shudder unpleasantly. He could smell the cigarette smoke and alcohol creating a pungent perfume in the house, and the obnoxious peals of laughter from drunk people stumbling up and down the stairs was loud in Frank's ears. He picked at the skin on the side of his thumb as an unconscious anxious habit and focused on the quick thrumming of his heart so he wouldn't panic on the spot. He faked smiles when old classmates who never really spoke to him in school were suddenly overjoyed to recognize him.

Gerard's fingers wrapped around Frank's wrists when they stopped inside to look around and pulled him towards his side so he could hear his voice over the noise. Frank looked up into his warmly concerned eyes.

"Are you gonna be okay, Frank? I know your anxiety gets bad." Gerard asked, looming near Frank's face.

Frank forced a close-lipped smile and nodded his head, patting Gerard's fingers that were holding onto his wrist so he could be released. "I'm fine. You can have fun, I really don't mind."

"I want you to stay with me." Gerard said in earnest, his brows puckering.

"I'm not the most social person, G. It's okay, really. Go socialize." Frank encouraged Gerard, deeply appreciating his concern over the frantic pulse in his ears. "Just don't get shitfaced. Hangovers aren't a good thing, even for the Human Experience Volume Two."

"I promise I won't." Gerard surprised Frank by swiping a lock of his hair away from his face in an oddly tender touch. He smiled softly at Frank. "I'll be checking in on you."

"I— really, that's not—"

"I'm not ditching you, Frankie." Gerard shook his head. "Just stay safe."

Frank couldn't say anything else to relax Gerard enough to let him know he didn't need to flit back and forth between the party and checking in, so he sighed in defeat, nodding. Gerard tapped fleetingly under Frank's chin and turned around, joining Ray and Adam who wandered into the kitchen to stuff their mouths full of Halloween sugar cookies set out on the snack table. Jamia hobbled over in her high heels and arched an eyebrow suspiciously at Frank, her hands holding two cupcakes.

"Cousin-in-law? Are you sure you're not dating him and covering it up, Frank?" Jamia practically yelled over the music.

Frank's eyes flung open. He stammered, turning bright crimson. "I'm not dating him? Why would you say that?"

"I saw him touching your face and cooing at you like a baby, that's no cousin-in-law." Jamia laughed at Frank's flabbergasted expression and handed him a cupcake decorated in neon green frosting.

"He's just . . . really touchy." Frank attempted to justify what Jamia had seen. "He's protective."

"I know protective. Most of the time they're sweet." Jamia leaned back against the wall dividing the kitchen and the entry to the living room, unwrapping her cupcake on one side to take a bite. Frank picked at the icing and his eyes kept flickering to Gerard in the kitchen socializing with his friends as if he'd always known them.

"I'm protective of him, too." Frank admitted. "This is his first party in a while."

"Why aren't you with him?" Jamia wiped purple icing from her upper lip.

"I don't wanna suffocate him." Frank took a small bite out of the cupcake, tasting french vanilla. "He's already staying at my house, he'll get sick of me."

"I doubt that," Jamia smirked. "He doesn't look like he's ever had a negative thought in his life."

"He has," Frank mumbled, "He's just one of those rare people. Always putting on his best face for others." For Frank.

The party resumed and Gerard eventually got wrapped up in the drinks and the laughter, the Halloween games and party favors drawing his attention. He made his rounds and kept his promise checking in on Frank, and after the final visitation, Frank was already overwhelmed by his surroundings. With his friends elsewhere in the house, Frank was drifting to keep his mind active instead of allowing it to focus on the pressure of staying calm while surrounded by too many people making the walls seem far closer than they looked in the beginning. Frank's pulse never slowed to an ordinary pace and the skin around his thumbs and middle fingers were torn, his fingernails stained by beads of blood. Frank felt flashes of hot and cold running through his body, and that was when he knew he needed time to himself. He wormed his way through the crowds, being whacked a few times by Halloween costume props. He climbed up the stairs and made his way to the restroom to rest in there, hopefully for at least fifteen minutes of muted sounds.

Frank opened the door and found two girls tangled together inside, and Frank got a glimpse of too many personal parts to linger for long. He slammed the door shut and tried not to let his eyes pop out of his skull. He scurried down the hall and searched for another restroom until he found one at the end of the hall. He knocked, not hearing any response, and entered. Immediately, Frank shut the door and spun around to rest his back against it, breathing heavily. A bead of sweat rolled down the back of his neck as his scrambled insides tried to decide if he was growing nauseous or if it was only an illusion. Frank wrapped his arm around his lower stomach and shut his eyes, calming himself with a series of deep breaths. Parties were the last thing he'd rather spend his time with and he definitely wouldn't be attending another one unless it was infinitely smaller in size and he knew everyone there. Frank huffed at himself, at how pitiful he felt, but he always had a part of his subconscious to remind him that he wasn't at fault for something he had no control over.

"If you're gonna take a piss or something, let me get out first." A voice coming from the bathtub suddenly filled the room. Frank startled and jumped nearly a foot in the air, his palms slapping against the wall.

"What the fuck?" Frank exclaimed. He slammed a hand over his chest when his heart threatened to rip free. He was surprised he hadn't gone into cardiac arrest that day.

"That voice sounds familiar." The voice in the shower spoke again. The blue shower curtain rustled and pulled back, revealing a guy sprawledout in the tub. Not a stranger, but Matt Cortez, the host of the party.

"Matt?" Frank squeaked.

"Frank?" Matt's eyes were wide — and definitely red. If his slurring speech was a clue for anything, Frank reckoned he was high out of his mind.

"What the hell are you doing in the bathtub?" Frank looked between the shower and the door, wondering if he should leave Matt to his own devices, whatever those were.

"'S comfortable. And I'm tired." Matt reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a half eaten brownie, taking another bite. He noticed Frank staring and stopped chewing. "You want some?"

"Uh, no. I'll pass. Thanks." Frank awkwardly stepped away from the door, rubbing the back of his neck. "Lay off the brownies, man. You're already super stoned."

"What doesn't kill me makes me stronger." Matt said, which made no sense, but Frank rolled with it.

"Right. Does anyone know you're in here?"

"Nah. Not important. I'll get out in a bit." Matt devoured the rest of the brownie in one bite and lazily wiped the crumbs off his jacket. "I didn't expect to see you at a party, Iero."

"That makes two of us." Frank felt awkward having a conversation in a restroom, but he continued. "I had to take a break."

"When did you turn into a wizard?" Matt pointed sharply at Frank's hat and Bartholo-mew poking out from the pockets of his hoodie.

Frank cracked a smile. "Just a costume, Matt."

"No, you have sparkles floating around you." Matt batted the air and giggled. "You're a fuckin' wizard, man."

"I'm not—" Frank was cut off by the gentle rapping of knuckles against the opposite side of the door. An equally soft voice said Frank's name, and he immediately identified it as Gerard's.

"Are you okay in there?" Gerard asked, his concern decipherable in his voice.

"Uh, yeah!" Frank turned around with large eyes, pressing his hand against the door. "I'm fine, G."

"Someone said you didn't look too good."

"Oh shit!" Matt grunted and groaned hauling himself upwards, pawing at the shower walls. "I didn't know you had a dick appointment. Should've said so."

"It's not a dick appointment." Frank's cheeks grew hot.

"Oh," Gerard said in deep surprise, "Someone's in there with you."

"Not — ugh, oh my god." Frank pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "He's just a guy in a tub."

"We went to school together. Pleased to meet you." Matt knocked into Frank while stumbling to the door. He pulled it open and revealed Gerard standing there, stunned. Matt suddenly smirked flirtatiously, hanging lazily in the doorway. "Well hello, gorgeous."

"He's a dude." Frank quickly spat out.

"That's not a dude, don't be fuckin' mean. You were sweet in high school, man, what happened to you?"

"He's right." Gerard, although blushing, kept his eyes on Frank, occasionally flitting them over to Matt who was wagging his eyebrows and flexing his arms ostentatiously.

"This is Matt. He's really high and I found him in the bathtub. We weren't . . . doing anything." Frank stammered out the last portion.

"I'd definitely bang you if I was gay, but I'm not." Matt belched and grunted, grinning languidly on his way out. "Don't get cum on the walls, you guys."

Frank's face was a fiery expression of regret and humiliation as Gerard stared after Matt with a mixture of bewilderment and horror. His large eyes focused on Frank and he let out a choppy nervous laugh, redness tinting his cheeks.

"I told him we weren't gonna do anything." Frank rushed to resolve the look of uncertainty in Gerard's eyes. "He's just. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Just a stoned dude in a tub. Got it." Gerard nodded slowly, then softened, worrying his lip between his teeth. "Are you okay, Frankie?"

Frank leaned against the doorway with a heavy sigh, glancing over Gerard's shoulder at the oblivious people moving through the house. He heard a round of shrieking laughter downstairs and a few clapping hands. "I needed to get away for a little bit. Anxious."

Frank looked back at Gerard and found him staring in disapproval at his hands. Gerard grabbed his right one and pointedly looked between his bloody middle finger and his face.

Frank winced. "I don't even realize I'm doing it until it starts bleeding."

"Can I join you in here?" Gerard released his hand.

Frank wordlessly back into the restroom for Gerard to pass. He shut the door quietly and flicked the lock so no party goers would barge inside and disrupt Frank's moment of peace. He had no qualms with Gerard being a part of it. His mere presence was an alleviator as much as the privacy of much needed quiet.

Gerard hopped up on the sink and supported himself in his palms. His lipstick was fading away and smeared at the corners, his eyes sparkling from the residue of the party. He looked a bit hazy, perhaps intoxicated.

"Are you drunk?" Frank asked to be sure.

"A little tipsy. Still sharp enough." Gerard tapped his temple.

"I've kinda had it with drunk people tonight." Frank chuckled softly, plopping down on the closed lid of the toilet.

They were quiet for a long moment, the muted sounds of the party leaking in through the thin crack under the door. Gerard looked down at Frank with a frown. "We didn't have to come. I could live without a party."

"Yeah, everyone can live without a party, but not everyone has another shot at life again after they die." Frank ran his palms over his jeans. He removed the witch hat balanced on his head and set it on the other side of Gerard.

"I would've been fine with just getting a bunch of candy and going back home." Gerard's eyes widened. "To your house, I mean."

"It's not just about what I want. Haven't you been having a good time?"

Guiltily, Gerard lowered his head. "Yeah. Everyone's been really nice to me."

"That's what matters. I don't care if I need to take a few breaks." Frank meant it with every ounce of his being. "Don't feel bad, okay? It's Halloween. I cut up my hand to bring you back to life." Frank lifted his bandaged palm with a slightly crooked smile.

Gerard's face broke out in a gradual beam. He gently laid his hand over Frank's, clasping it with a soft squeeze, and let it go. He slid off the counter and landed with a muted thump his boots made against the tile ground. "I'm guessing that tub is comfortable if that guy was hanging out in there?"

Frank snorted. "I've never slept in a bathtub before, so I couldn't tell you."

Gerard made his way towards the tub, tugging back the curtains all the way. The metal hooks made an unpleasant screeching sound against the rod holding it up. Gerard stepped into the porcelain tub and cramped himself into it, curling up on one side with his knees pulled his towards his chest. He wrapped his arms around them and looked over at Frank with raised eyebrows, his lips curving up.

"It's not so bad. Come join me." Gerard gestured to the other side of the tub.

Frank was hesitant at first, but after all, he was smaller than Gerard. He found himself returning the inviting smile and got on his feet, carefully clambering into the tub. He adjusted himself while sitting and grunted at the tight squeeze, curling into a little ball while avoiding hitting his head on the faucet. Gerard reached out and tugged his legs, eliciting a little squeak from Frank. He adjusted them for their legs to jigsaw while still folded at the knees so it wouldn't be horribly uncomfortable. The porcelain felt hard under Frank's skin, but he felt comfort in the feeling of Gerard's legs tangled with his own. Their eyes met across the way and Gerard's soft laughter muted in his throat made Frank join in, a delighted chorus. Frank yanked the curtains shut and a shadow fell over them, security immediately nestling into the tub where they rested.

Gerard picked at the threads of a small tear in Frank's jeans. He was thoughtful, breathing softly. Frank watched him carefully. There were times he feared Gerard would dissolve. Magic wasn't always permanent, especially with the spell he casted, and the amount of time written in the book wasn't always guaranteed. A soul crushing fear lingered like a disturbing trickle inching into Frank's bones that Gerard wouldn't return to his previous form once the magic was complete. He would slip from his fingers as a consequence despite all of Gerard's promises that his own stubbornness would keep him tethered to Frank's wrists.

Gerard grew somber in the silence. He parted his lips, sighing quietly. "I was murdered."

Frank's insides went cold. He froze up, a rigid pile of limbs in the tub. He stared at Gerard for a long time until Gerard's eyes met his, sorrow painted in every shade of the hazel concoction.

Gerard went on. "I was a stupidly curious kid. I always wondered what was in the woods. I heard they were haunted and that a lot of disappearances happened in there throughout its history. I thought — _god_ , I don't know why I thought I'd be immune to that. That nothing could touch me or happen to me while I was snooping around without telling anyone where I was going. I knew I wouldn't be allowed to investigate if I asked. I should've kept the reason why with me, I should've let it stop me. But it didn't. That's why they say curiosity killed the cat, because it does. It fucking kills. Brutally." Gerard choked off the end and swallowed hard, audible to Frank who cling to every word, every twitch in Gerard's face and his hands.

"I can't remember it too clearly. I felt like someone was following me at one point. I started going down a path I didn't recognize, hoping to get them off my tail. But that just made things worse. I got lost, really fucking lost, and when I started to panic, that's when I stopped to think and realized the footsteps I was hearing weren't only my own. They were coming up behind me. All I could do was run, and run, and try not to collapse, and I don't know how he got me, but he pinned me down. I was screaming, begging for my life. He wouldn't stop." Gerard's wobbling voice gave away the building of tears in his eyes, the echo of terror resonating in them. "He wouldn't stop stabbing me. I was screaming out for Mikey, for my mom and dad, for anyone to get him to fucking stop, but he only did when my voice gave out. Everything hurt so bad until it just stopped. He dragged me into that fucking house and he—" Gerard choked on a sob, violently shaking.

Nauseated and radiating pain from the inside out, Frank helplessly shook his head. He shakily reached out for Gerard's hands and took them, leaning forward to hold them tightly and catch his eye. "You don't have to tell me. Fuck, you don't have to go on, it's okay."

"I don't know where the pieces of my body are buried." Gerard cried miserably. "I lost my final breath in that house and I'm stuck there forever. I can't even remember what he looked like or if he's even still alive, I don't know."

Frank's stomach roiled. _Pieces_. "Jesus fucking christ. You . . . you saw him . . .?"

"I felt it at first. I knew he was tearing me apart and I wasn't gonna be found. Then I was gone." Gerard squeezed Frank's hands as agony rippled through his heart. "I'll never forget that pain, that hopelessness. You really do think about everything and everyone you love before you die. It doesn't stop. And I think that's what hurts the most; knowing you'll never come back to them."

"Gerard." Frank didn't know what else to say. All words festered in the center of his throat as his stomach sank way down to his knees. Something similar to a fever swept through him, and as his heart was torn to pieces, he realized it was not for himself, but for Gerard.

Frank wriggled to make space, moving legs and shifting on the hard porcelain, making his way between Gerard's legs to drape over him in a tight embrace. Gerard collapsed into it and held Frank so tightly that the breath would've been chased from his lungs if Frank paid any mind to it. He stroked Gerard's hair while he crumbled in Frank's arms, finally releasing the pent up trauma he couldn't retell until he felt the moment was right. Frank was crushed by guilt to have ever asked for the story while seeing how deeply it affected Gerard, the misery branded into his very being all centered around one event where Frank wished he could've protected him from. Gerard deserved to live more than anyone else.

"No one's ever gonna hurt you like that again." Frank whispered it into Gerard's hair like a secret. He hadn't realized tears streaked down his cheeks until he pressed his lips against the spot where the side of his face had touched and felt the stinging salt of tears on them. Nonetheless, Frank kissed Gerard's head and held him, cradling him close, protectively, and wishing he never needed to let him go. Frank wasn't sure how he could after what he heard and knew how it felt to have Gerard pressed against him, warm and soft, still so human even after decades of being a restless entity.

"You make me feel so safe." Gerard whimpered into Frank's neck. He burrowed deeply into the crook and continued to weep.

Frank's heart shattered. "You are safe. Safe with me. Always."

That's what you do for the people you love. You keep them safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! Let me know your thoughts!


	3. Moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Part one of the ultimate ending is here

The house was still vacant when they walked home, taking the nearly silent streets brightened only by the orange of the streetlights bathing the slick roads when the candles inside grinning jack-o-lanterns had long since been burned out with the exception of a few houses celebrating late into the night. The chill settled in the atmosphere caused a soft film of fog to rise from the ground, their feet buried in the mist that swirled as they came into contact with it like whispering phantoms guiding their way back to the graveyards in which they rose from. Frank dipped his hand into it and watched it curl around his fingers like strips of sparkling gauze. He guided it with his magic into his palm and formed a handheld tornado, holding it out for Gerard to see, but he was fragile from tears that still spilled and only cracked a meek smile. The dim sparkle of fascination couldn't overcome the separate storm within himself, facing agonizing trauma he neglected to come to terms with out loud. Frank's heartache caused the spiraling fog to disperse and flatly dissipate in his hand. He had curled his fingers around the remnants and swallowed dryly. 

Frank returned from the kitchen with a glass of water for Gerard to slowly sip from. Gerard was sat at the edge of the bed, perched on the very corner to gaze out the window covered in a layer of mist. The tip of Gerard's finger carved a cartoon ghost onto the glass, crossing out the eyes, giving it a large speech bubble that said "I've got a case of the boos!"

"I'm gonna find you pajamas to change into." Frank said as he set the glass gingerly down onto the side table.

Gerard looked at him as if he only just realized Frank returned. He blinked a few times, troubled, and nodded his head. "Thank you, Frank."

Frank felt he didn't need to be thanked, but he accepted it, and went on to find a pair of pajamas for Gerard to fit into. He located a baggy shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants, along with warm socks to prevent Gerard from shivering overnight. Arranging it into a presentable pile, Frank stood from his kneeling position in front of the dresser and turned around with words at his lips, words that would disintegrate the second he noticed the state of his friend slumping against his pillows.

Gerard was quivering from silencing his sobs and squeezing Bartholo-mew tightly against his chest, burying his face into the nape of her neck to cover up the river of tears spilling down his cheeks. Frank's heart sprang up into his throat and plummeted towards his feet. He discarded the clothes onto the desk chair nearby and strode over to Gerard, sinking down next to him and automatically tugging the cat away from his face to look into it.

"Gerard? What's wrong?" Frank's fingers skimmed Gerard's flushed cheek glistening with tears. Puffy eyes met his own, glowing in their sorrow Frank would never experience or fully understand. Frank's chest clenched heavily and he instinctively dragged his thumb along Gerard's cheekbone as a comforting gesture.

"Everything." Gerard whispered brokenly. "Just. Everything."

"What's everything?" Frank cupped the back of Gerard's neck and gave a gentle tug towards him. Gerard complied and moved forward to nestle against Frank's chest, growing weak in the arms that automatically wrapped around him.

"I don't want to leave. This is my comfort, you're my comfort." Gerard pressed his wet face into Frank's neck just as his heart skipped unevenly. "We can still see each other, but it's not the same. I'm trapped in my own hell every day."

Frank had never heard Gerard reflect on his own situation so miserably before, and he supposed it was all held back with a bite of his tongue for Frank's sake. Frank's throat tightened and he curled his fingers into Gerard's hair, delicately stroking and working out the smallest knots forming between the strands. His selfishness roared and caused his stomach to churn, almost begging whatever power the universe held to let him keep Gerard, but it was an impossible feat, a mere human desire he couldn't risk finding a way to satiate.

"I don't want you to leave either," Frank whispered into Gerard's hair, holding him tight as his one companion continued to weep. "But you're stuck with me for the rest of my life. That's enough for now, right?"

"I don't know anymore." Gerard leaned further into Frank's grasp as he attempted to slow his weeping to no avail. He made a helpless sound into Frank's shoulder and quivered from the small sobs wracking through his body. He never seemed quite so delicate until he unraveled in Frank's hands, slipping through his fingers as Frank couldn't find a suitable way to fully become the comfort Gerard saw him as. Frank's hands fluttered as they escaped Gerard's hair and smoothed over his back, cool against the heavy leather draped over his frame.

"We could just try this again, G. We could cast this spell as many times as you want." Frank tremulously suggested despite his own uncertainty. "If you can promise me you'll be strong enough to stay with me each time."

Gerard sniffled, raising a hand to rake up the tears streaking down his cheeks with his palm. He frustratedly wiped the wetness off on his dress and withdrew the slightest bit so his face was looming nearby, teardrops collecting on long eyelashes. Mascara and eyeliner smudged underneath his eyes, yet he was just a uniquely beautiful, a custom porcelain doll twirling on the edges of unconventional.

"I'm not sure if I'll be strong enough." Gerard's voice faded around the corners like a vintage film.

"Hold onto the strength you told me you have now." Frank pleaded, staring directly into Gerard's eyes with a pierced heart of his own. "Don't you wanna stay with me?"

"Of course I do, Frank, but it's not just about you." Gerard's rejection stung as he rapidly pulled himself away from Frank to get to his feet, scrubbing at the tears and residual makeup casting melting shadows underneath his eyes. "I don't expect you to get it."

Taking a small amount of offense, Frank's eyebrows knitted together. "How could I if you barely told me about what happened to you?"

"Because! Because — how could you know what it's like to . . . to have your life torn away from you like that?" Exasperation colored Gerard's breathy voice as his frustration collapsed inward to reveal vulnerability again. "To know you're never gonna see the people you love again, and that they'll die without knowing what happened to you?"

Frank's mild moment of offense disintegrated while visualizing the depth of Gerard's camouflaged pain. He pondered it before, taking apart the layers and peering deep within to speculate over the intensity of a spirit's suffering when it became clear it was concealed, closed off to all eyes. Frank knew from the pit of his heart that it wasn't possible for Gerard to float contently without a heartbeat, a purpose, knowledge of time and modernization flourishing inside it. He was but a slave to his mind and a lingering piece of self awareness. A white butterfly trapped within the glass.

"I can't know because I haven't died yet." Frank curled his fingers into the bedspread and swallowed hard, staring at his shoes. "But I'm not ignorant. I never thought you weren't hurting for a single second since I've met you."

"You're not ignorant, Frank." Gerard's voice softened into a raspy whisper. "You just. I wish you knew sometimes, but how could you? You're alive. Alive, and beautiful, you haven't been hurt the way I have. I don't want you to be hurt like this."

Frank's eyes stinging from the heat of tears flickered up and met Gerard's mournful gaze telling of an age he didn't look. Frank's insides twisted and his chest caved in. He began to quiver.

"The type of tired I feel . . . no one deserves it. But I just wish someone knew what it felt like." Gerard crossed an arm over his chest, then lowered it down, his hand splaying out over his heart. He squeezed his eyes shut tight. "I'm so alone when you're not there with me. I'm scared. I'm sick of not having a heartbeat and feeling like I'm just dead weight. I don't know how much longer I can take this."

Frank's heart that was already tearing at the seams completely split apart. Streamers rained down on his stomach that felt like led inside his body. How could it be that any figure in control of the universe could allow such vile acts to be done, so cruel to tear away the tender life of a person who barely had the chance to live? No person deserved a fate of bloodshed and the bleakest form of fear, but Frank believed Gerard didn't deserve to experience any singular feeling of pain in his heart. Beating or not. Frank always knew the world was unfair, but seeing Gerard numbly weep after finally splitting apart for the first time in decades cut deeper than any blade was capable of doing. Unfair wouldn't cut the way Frank viewed it. It was barbaric, a fucking vicissitude of fate.

There was only one solution to free Gerard from ceaseless fear and solitude. One sinking the burning hot pain in the center of Frank's heart further into his flesh until he swore it would pierce through and shatter the bones laying beneath, tearing him into pieces. He detested his own selfishness, his heart full of yearning that rebelled in every sense possible when a solution ghosted through his mind, twisting achingly in his insides. Frank was never good at moving past his strong emotions for the benefit of another person; he was so passionate in the way he felt, sinking deeply into every resonating emotion and clasping so tightly onto it that he nearly choked from the demand of it encasing his heart and soul. Love, above all things, conquered all. Love was the burden in Frank's soul that dominated every particle of his being and intoxicated his blood both sweetly and criminally, ringing out truer than ever in the moment when Frank looked deeply into Gerard's glistening eyes like autumn sparkling in the antidote to illness.

How could Frank let him go when he was so in love with him that he felt it warm in his fingertips crying out at him to press them against Gerard's cheek soaked in undeserved tears?

Frank's body rose up from the bed out of his conscious control. He was stepping forward, watching his trembling hands reaching up to stroke Gerard's hair away from his face that froze from the surprise of the tender touch. Frank's mind screamed at him under the fog of emotion to stop, that he couldn't do this to the both of them, but there was no possible way to grip the reigns and cease every movement while his heart rattled blissfully to feel Gerard's skin as his fingers brushed against his cheekbones.

"You're not alone, Gerard." Frank's voice rocked uneasily and his breath came out in a shaking whisper. "Even if I can't be there with you, we've got something special — you know that. I'm your Familiar. We're connected even when we're apart."

"Frankie." Gerard shut his eyes, a tear clinging to the tips of his eyelashes dripping and landing on his cheek, streaming down to his upper lip. Frank never longed to kiss an upper lip so fiercely before. Frank's aching heart lurched and he shook his head vehemently, thumbing away the teardrop and listening to Gerard's soft intake of breath.

"Give me your pain," Frank whispered, shedding hot tears of his own through the waves of hurt crashing through his body. "Tell me everything. Let me take it from you for just a little bit, I don't want you to feel like you need to hold onto it."

"I'm not giving it to you." Gerard's fingers wrapped around Frank's wrists and squeezed.

"Please, Gerard." Frank implored in such anguish that Gerard's eyes helplessly flashed open.

"Telling you won't make it go away."

"No. No, it won't, but — please. Let me take some of the burden from you. I can't stand hearing you say that . . . that you're feeling like this, and there's nothing I can do about it."

"It's not your responsibility to do anything about it." Gerard gently pushed Frank's hands away from him. The shattering noise in Frank's ears came from an internal place.

"What can I do?" Frank's wide eyes surrounded by tears bored into Gerard's, searching for an antidote, all alleviation he could offer.

"Just stop." Gerard suddenly turned his face away and huffed, wrapping an arm across his chest. "Please. There's no point."

Taken aback, Frank stared hard for a long moment. Everything was churning in sudden turmoil, and he was unsure of how to process it. Suddenly, there was no filter, no room for digestion. Frank was overcome with a strange type of hysteria clawing up his throat.

"You can't just shove me aside and tell me there's no point. Not after everything you just shared with me. Fuck, Gerard, how do you think it feels to hear your best friend say they're tired of existing and not being able to do shit about it?" Frank's mouth ran like leaking tap water with nothing to capture it. It would soon flood the room, soaking the streets, a warpath.

Gerard's eyes flashed with disbelief and a warning floating over it, but he stayed silent, narrowing them at Frank as he curled in on himself on the bed. The silence did nothing to silence Frank's recklessness.

"You want me to understand, to get it, I can't. Not if you don't help me. The only thing I can do is listen and be here for you and you don't want me to." Frank said it all in singular breath and found himself gasping near the ending, his body quaking.

"I told you to stop." Gerard weakly inserted. Frank batted it away.

"I'm not gonna stop. I care about you. I wish you didn't need to feel this way."

"That's enough."

"Why?" Frank stepped forward. "Why won't you help me understand? Can you at least tell me that?"

"It's not enough, Frank! Talking about it isn't gonna change anything!" Gerard's bellowing shout caused Frank to spring back. His eyes were bright and simmering when he leapt to his feet. "I'm gonna go back to the way I was when this fucking spell is over and there's nothing you can do about it. I don't need you to listen to me. You can't give me what I need."

The punch in his words pressed its brutal knuckles powerfully against Frank's gut and ground inwards until he swore he could feel the blow jolting through everything inside. The tremble in his bones shot upwards towards his sluggish mind attempting to drag everything in, analyzing Gerard's words, until it came to a pitiful single conclusion festering nauseatingly in his stomach.

None of Frank's efforts were good enough. He was utterly hopeless in fruitless attempts to soothe Gerard's pain in the only ways he knew, the only ways he was capable of giving.

If Frank thought about it, dissecting all the hidden compartments, it was foolish to ever think he was capable of extracting some of the suffering causing Gerard to loathe his state of near nonexistence. Frank was only human; with powers most didn't possess, but mortal nonetheless. He was flesh and blood, clumsy, he bled if a needle pricked his skin and cried when he was severely frustrated. All mundane ailments counted and worked against him in a cruel fashion he wished couldn't touch him, but they did, and their clammy grasp was the reason why he was incapable of being the savior of the one person he wished to take away from a world of desolation. Frank could cast a few spells, make a mockery out of life and instill something temporary in Gerard, but nothing would stay. Nothing would bring the breath back to Gerard's lungs and the blood to his cheeks forever the way they both longed for. Life had long since been robbed and buried alive in the grains of forgotten earth somewhere in the woods. Gerard was the phantom of its past living in a charade on Halloween.

Frank numbly folded down onto the mattress. He could feel Gerard's penetrating stare, but he paid no mind to it. Through his skull bounced a wretched repetition of not good enough. Disturbingly selfish, he knew, but selfishness wasn't the only element playing into the incessant throb in his heart. He lay shattered to finally see Gerard's misery. The one thing that always set him apart from the rest unfurled and became so present in him that it might as well have been Frank's pain as well.

"I'm sorry." Gerard's weak voice sank deep into Frank's mind. It landed at its core and his head lifted, meeting Gerard's round and regretful eyes burning with apologies. He stood there hollowly. "I'm sorry, Frank."

Frank couldn't muster a response, or find a voice to begin with. His throat closed up and his breath clawed up the inside of his chest. He stared at Gerard's hands limp and pale at his sides. Through and through, he still longed to collect them in his own and he wished to never feel their new warmth bleed away. It was something he could never have, and something he could never give.

"I didn't mean to blow up like that. I do appreciate how much you care, so much. I'm sorry." Gerard's fingers twitched and his voice rose up an octave, not so much in volume. He was feathery soft and fragile. "You give me so much."

Frank's cottony mouth was dry when he finally felt himself setting into motion, his lips parting. His eyes dragged up and met Gerard's stare. "Do I?"

Gerard's severance dissolved. His shoulders slumped guilty and he took an uneasy step forward, moonlight bathing him in silver making him as delicate as a white butterfly. He moved hesitantly like one; little twitches, flickers of movement, edging closer. Frank's eyes followed him with a tight knot in his throat he continued to swallow down to keep from choking. He hated to be pitied, and hoped Gerard's apologies came from a genuine place within, not solely out of guilt.

"Of course you do. You could've fucked off after I chose you as my Familiar, but you stayed." Gerard didn't brush away the lock of hair fluttering into his eyes.

"I wanted to." Frank said distantly. He recalled the instant fascination, the gravitation he felt towards Gerard. He couldn't leave even if he was tempted to in the slightest way.

"Exactly. You wanted to. That means more to me than you know. I don't want to make you feel like I don't treasure how much you care about me." Gerard hesitantly sank down beside Frank. Frank felt the bed dip and it suddenly snapped him out of the numb crystallization encompassing him. He blinked and turned to Gerard, seeking out his face, feeling the urge to drink it in all over again. Gerard looked back at him with eyes pouring out sincerity mingled with regret over his words that could've been wounding. Frank needed to hear everything he already knew straight from Gerard's lips.

"What did you mean?" Frank asked in a terrible breakable voice.

Gerard gave a puzzled look, his brows furrowing. Frank went to clarify.

"What do you need that I can't give you?"

Understanding flashed in Gerard's eyes, and in an instant, it was whisked away by another emotion Frank couldn't decipher; it was hidden away much too soon, buried in the tomb of black hair Gerard pushed forward to veil his face with as he turned away. Gerard's fingers curled into the fabric of the dress he still hadn't changed out of and Frank felt his heart react to the heavy unknown.

"It's stupid. Really stupid. It's not your fault. It was so selfish of me to say that, and I'm sorry, Frank." Gerard shakily breathed in and exhaled.

"I've already forgiven you." Frank distantly shook his head, attempting to look through Gerard's hair while battling the instinct to push it aside with his hand.

"I mean . . . look at how today played out." Gerard slowly tucked the chunk of hair concealing his face behind his ear, revealing a cheek bathed in pink and long lashes fluttering with troubles in his head he wasn't expressing. "I'm alive. You gave me life again. That's a huge deal to me."

"It's — it's just temporary." Frank swallowed the thickness in his throat.

"Doesn't matter. My heart is beating and I have blood running through my veins." Gerard spread his hands out in front of him and slowly turned them, observing as though it was his first time drinking them in. "It's been so long. Too long. I never thought I'd feel this again."

Frank understood Gerard's frustrations more clearly after taking in his bittersweet fondness for his short experience with living again. He knew what he longed for, what he wished Frank was capable of, but it wasn't in his abilities. If Gerard wasn't going to say it out loud, then Frank was forced to. "But you want your life back for good. That's what you really need."

Gerard's eyes became to sad that they were difficult to look into when their gazes linked again. Frank held them steady as static filled his lungs and that terrible feeling of a tide sweeping through his body fired up again. Gerard's eyes flickered all along Frank's face, taking in every feature. Frank's hands clutched onto his jeans. No protests bubbled to Gerard's lips, no attempts at shooting down what Frank said, and perhaps the silence was the most conclusive thing Frank would obtain from him. The blistering part was not the doing of Gerard who held no malicious intentions in any part of him. It was all Frank's cruel criticism of himself and the raging sorrow coldly breaking him apart to be the opposite of what he desired to be; Gerard's savior if no one could rescue him when he needed it the most.

"It's not your fault. I just got overwhelmed." Gerard's soft voice carried over in a whisper like pale gossamer curtains in the fluttering winter breeze. A saddened smile rose to his lips and his head titled ever so slightly to the side. "How could anyone ask for more out of someone who gives them their everything?"

Was Frank so transparent that Gerard was aware of the way every particle of his heart settled in Gerard's chest, as empty as he may have believed it was? Conscious or not, Frank was entirely devoted to Gerard in ways he didn't fully understand himself, too young to have ever loved deeply, and too old to daydream about the ways of love enough to recognize his actions. He gave to him his magic, his every thought, his memory and his warmth to thaw out the cold encapsulating Gerard's spirit when he floated alone in the night when Frank couldn't be with him. When they parted, Frank despaired leaving Gerard to the dark dampness of a silent hell, but always left something behind; a protection spell, a promise to return, an invisible shard of his heart piecing together an incomplete project of stained glass in place of Gerard's ribs where a beating heart should have been. He made a cathedral of Gerard to keep him as pure as always, untainted by the darkness surrounding him. Frank carried the final crimson fragment of glass in his trembling hands, having yet to complete the image inside him. He couldn't.

"My everything isn't what you need the most, Gerard." Frank kept his internal collapse silent, but he was certain it was visible in his eyes, because Gerard's expression was nothing short of heart broken by the time Frank looked away.

"Frank . . . what's been keeping me sane all this time?"

Frank frowned unsurely. "I was hoping you'd tell me that someday."

Gerard's faint chuckle was a surprise. Still, Frank didn't dare look up from his lap. "You really don't know?"

"Am I supposed to?" Frank's forehead creased.

"I thought you did." Gerard moved closer, pressing their shoulders together, and Frank's breath froze halfway up his throat. "You. You're the reason why I haven't just given into all of my sadness. I just get stupidly in my own head sometimes and I catch myself being selfish."

Against all the withering things cascading through Frank that night, the fluttering sensation delicately resting in his stomach reappeared. It was astounding to him how sentiment he craved easily overpowered all else. Heat spread through his chest kindly the way frozen hands sought out the fire for the thawing warmth pleasantly coaxing out the cold. Frank looked into Gerard's earnest eyes again and saw softness painted onto every inch of his uniquely beautiful face.

"I . . ." Frank was daring himself to say it, pushing the limits to see how far he'd be allotted to run. "I want to be enough for you."

Gerard's eyes sparkled in the dim lighting, still rimmed a little red by the teardrops that previously fell. Makeup was smeared all over the place, but it didn't lessen any of his beauty that resided most prominently on the inside, looking out through eyes holding the essence of every wonderful feeling a person would get watching the transition of the colors in tree during the Autumn, or the wreaths of Christmas decorations at last being strung to welcome the purest joy.

"Frankie," Gerard whispered. He was drawing closer, Frank's heart beating like a drum. Remorse made Gerard's brows pucker made he was waving his hands weakly as if he wasn't sure what to do with them. "Don't — don't let what I said make you think you're not enough. You're more than enough. You don't even know . . ."

"Are you gonna make a habit out of telling me I don't know about something and proceeding to not fully explain it?"

"I can't explain it. I just." Gerard couldn't choke out a full sentence, and despite the tenderness drawn all over him, he was troubled. Frank couldn't understand why.

"What's wrong?" Frank asked softly to not unease the quiet surrounding them in the dark room.

Gerard's mouth gaped for a long moment and he stared directly ahead. He sighed tremulously and winced. "I can't hurt you like that. I can't hurt myself like that. It's not fair to us."

"What?" Frank's heart twisted.

"I just. God, Frank, you don't even realize how . . . wonderful. You are. And how grateful I am." Gerard's eyes wheeled around and settled on Frank, glowing from the internal battle playing out in his mind, silent to Frank much to his distress. Frank stared at him with large eyes, hitching breaths escaping, waiting for anything else to be said.

"I can't do this to us. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want it so bad." Gerard's face fell, his tongue swiping over his lips quickly. "If I told you I need it, then I know you'd give it to me. But I don't want that for you."

"What do you need?" Gerard was correct about one thing, and it was that Frank would give Gerard everything and anything he needed if he was capable of delivering. Eagerness streamed through Frank aside from all of the confusion tangling up his mind. He scooted closer, eyes large and waiting, brushing his hand against Gerard's now restless in his lap.

Gerard darted a look down at their grazing hands and swallowed hard. Anguish shone in his eyes as though it burned him, but just as Frank was about to pull away with another sickening twist in his heart, Gerard turned his hand over and squeezed Frank's now resting in his own. Gerard looked at him, staring deep into his eyes with so much trouble, unheard turmoil and maybe even a twinge of self loathing blended somewhere in between. Above it all, that softness returned, the vulnerability of someone who placed their eternal trust in another, the gratitude he spoke of speaking with such grace that Frank's breath stopped coming for a split second. He couldn't believe how the butterflies in his system erupted and anticipation tingled under every layer of skin. He decided that whatever Gerard needed was something he was in dire need of as well.

"You're beautiful." Gerard whispered on the verge of silently. "I don't wanna hurt you— god, Frankie. You deserve a lot more than what I could ever give you. I'm so sorry. I just can't help myself . . ."

Gerard's hand pulled out of Frank's to cup around his face as the other stroked his hair away from his cheek. Their clasp was warm, so welcome as they molded against the shape of Frank's face, and Frank's eyes fluttered as his body practically melted at the contact despite rigid surprise lighting up every cell humming alive inside him. Gerard stroked his face, searching every feature, desperation touching the part of his lips and the shadow of his eyes exploring him until they rested longingly on his mouth. Frank's hands encircled Gerard's wrists and soon relaxed to stroke down his arms, inching that much closer for their breath to become one. Frank was aching in every physical and invisible place for one thing, more than he'd ever ached for anything in his life. If he wasn't brought into life to love Gerard for even the most fleeting moment, he wasn't sure what his purpose was. This would surely hurt them the way Gerard said— it would violently maul Frank's heart the second Gerard was no longer pliant and human, but he at least desired to know what it felt like to be held tenderly, to be cared for, body and soul.

The hard press of Gerard's lips against Frank's was so relieving that every heightened emotion in Frank erupted in tiny sparks showering down at his feet, leaving behind the relief similar to lungs sucking in a gasping breath after being deprived of oxygen for too long. A soft and shaky moan flittered to his lips and breathed out against Gerard's mouth eagerly shaped against his own, finally discovering how it felt to dismantle all rushing worries in the world in favor of the sweetest remedy, the feeling of being wanted for all he was and all he had to offer. Gerard's fingers slipping across Frank's skin to carefully inch into his hair was a welcome gesture Frank eagerly leaned into once the initial freeze surpassed in a quick second. Frank immediately reacted and tilted his head, curling fingers around Gerard's chin to secure their lips together firmly, abandoning that in favor of cupping his hands around the smooth pale neck dripping into his dreams in the evenings where he was tangled up in bedsheets striving to rid of every resonating thought about Gerard that caused gardenias to blossom and spread in his gut, but to no avail, always sore attempts at suppressing what he longed for the most.

Gerard peeled his lips away far too soon. Gasping breaths were sucked in and mingling between them as their noses grazed. Their half open eyes fluttered and stared across the centimeters between them at each other. Frank's skin was flushed, his heart pounding, and all he found himself thinking about was how chilled he felt now that his lips were lonely and barren of Gerard's kiss. He almost whimpered at the loss, but caught himself, swallowing it down as scarlet spread across his skin.

"You're all I need to feel human again." Gerard whispered breathlessly. Frank felt it on his lips, sinking deeply as Gerard was all around him, in his lungs and heart and skin. Frank relished in the feeling as his heart gave a mighty lurch in Gerard's direction. He needed more, so much more, everything. He was soaring. Gerard made him feel alive, too — in fact, Frank didn't think he was living until the moment he met Gerard. And he realized that, for Gerard, it wasn't all about human life and having a beating heart, it was about having Frank _completely_. The one other thing he couldn't obtain, yet he could, it was just out of reach enough to split his heart in two. Frank was able to give it to him. He wanted Gerard to take everything.

Frank didn't have it in him to form any words, finding they wouldn't be enough to express what was in his heart. Instead, he rubbed the trembling pad of his thumb across Gerard's lower lip, feeling the flush of it stained by lipstick and the remnants of their first kiss. Gerard's eyes sealed shut and he puckered his lips ever so slightly to plant the smallest of kisses against Frank's finger. Frank flushed deeply and was overwrought with the need to nestle somewhere inside of Gerard to live there and spend an eternity in his warmth and the glow of his soul, his companionship that was immortal even after Frank faded away the same way Gerard had. Frank made a small needy sound he hadn't intended to let out, but it was floating between them, and before Gerard had the chance to open his eyes, Frank connected their lips again hungrily.

The kiss was far more intense than the one before. Lips moved and stained in red lipstick, not bothering to find much of a rhythm because neither of them were as graceful as a swan. Yet, it worked for them, the unfamiliar collision of lips that immediately became one of the fondest sensations to ever be known. Gerard's tongue sliding past Frank's lips was not an invasion, but a tender gesture he welcomed inside and returned graciously. Heat bubbled rapidly in Frank's stomach and spread throughout every internal piece of himself, simmering dizzyingly until he swore his skin glowed pink from the contact. Gerard's shaky breath pressing against Frank's skin and the slickness of his lips moving searchingly against his heightened the growth of heat coiling in his belly, and it wasn't a foreign feeling, but it had never been elicited by another person's touch. Gerard's hands stroking through Frank's hair and giving a gentle tug caused Frank to take in a shuddering gasp, tingles spreading through his scalp down to his neck, snaking towards his lower body.

Frank and Gerard were scrambling backwards, toppling over each other awkwardly and trying to figure out how to fit their limbs together, but gradually, they melted together however they could as their passion increased in the form of lip biting and pleased noises humming deep in their chests at their hands sliding across each other. Frank's hands kept quaking as they traveled down Gerard's back, getting a feel of the shape of him through clothing and detecting the soft cut of his hip and the curve of his lower back descending into a part of him he dared to graze, causing Gerard to fold further into him and rock his hips down. Frank hissed softly as Gerard's hips bumped tightly into his thigh. He's intended to part his legs further, but instead, he found himself slotting a thigh into the space between Gerard's legs, hesitating for a full moment.

Gerard pulled apart from the kiss with slick and messy lips to gaze into Frank's half lidded eyes. Excitement and nerves lit up the hazel color in the shadows of the autumn night and Gerard swept his tongue across his lips as he lowered his hips, grinding down against Frank's thigh. His eyes fluttered and his lips rounded around a soft moan, his head bowing forward to bury his burning face into the crook of Frank's neck. Frank was astounded and mesmerized by the contact, feeling how Gerard was hard even through all the layers of fabric preventing skin from touching skin. Frank's stomach fluttered and he was overcome with need, the need to touch, to feel, to see. Frank stifled a moan of his own and clasped Gerard's hips, moving them down onto him, and Gerard's soft pleading noise made Frank ache intensely between his legs. Gerard's hand slid between them, drawing ovals across Frank's stomach, clutching tightly onto his waist.

"It's been so long since I've done this, I forgot what it's like." Gerard chuckled breathlessly as his hips continued to move, "Feels — feels good."

"Yeah?" Frank blood rushed downwards.

Gerard pulled back, looking deep into Frank's eyes he was certain expressed how much he desired him. Gerard swallowed hard at the sight and pink stained his pale cheeks in an ethereal image. "Yeah."

Gerard kept eye contact Frank felt in his very soul as fingertips stroked down his stomach, circling his navel, dipping further down until Frank was panting and breaking out in a thin layer of sweat from the pulsing ache tearing through him. Gerard cupped a hand over Frank's crotch and the air was ripped out of his lungs. Giving a gentle squeeze, Gerard's palm began pressing down in rhythmic strokes, and the intoxication of new sensations rippled like a divine force of electricity injected directly into Frank's body, flowing into his nervous system and his pounding heart hammering at the center of his throat. Frank's breath shuddered between them and his tongue swept across his lips left rosy from kissing. His eyes fluttered and he ground his thigh up harder against Gerard, watching the way Gerard's mouth went slack and his eyelids snapped shut in soft bliss. Frank wanted to keep that vision positioned in front of him forever. No burdensome pain, no harrowing fear of fading out of existence, only the timeless descent into ecstasy.

"You're sure about this?" Frank breathlessly inquired before daring to inch another step further. He needed to know if this wasn't done by the desperation for human contact, a breath of liveliness while Gerard was still human.

Gerard stroked the back of Frank's neck and brushed his fingers through the hair there, eyes flickering between both of Frank's. "I've wanted it for way too long."

"With me? It's not just because you miss feeling close to someone?"

Gerard's eyes shone like gemstones and he made a soft disapproving voice. His lips met Frank's so sweetly that it hurt. "I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't with you."

Frank breathed out softly. He caught Gerard's lower lip between his for a moment. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you."

Gerard's smile was a secret he exposed. "Ditto." Frank's answering laugh was swallowed up by Gerard's breathy chuckles when their lips met again.

The way that it differed from any past experience of Frank's was that it wasn't a temporarily enthralling exchange of skin on skin and rising body temperatures rolling about through instinct. The union between himself and Gerard was a shedding of armor to view the inside, and Frank believed that as every article of his clothing was stripped, beguiling intimacy was tethered to the hazel eyes onlooking with the upmost gentleness. Frank's hands skimmed over lily white skin so unbearably enchanting in all of its pulchritude that he swore Gerard was strung together with pearls from the moonlight, explaining his gravity and how Frank's stars seemed to be mesmerized by every soft whisper mingling with the darkness. What kept them grounded in a makeshift galaxy was their hands exploring the layers of their dimensions, the softness of skin, breathing in each tremulous exhale tumbling from parted lips continuously pressing together to seal their passion.

Frank couldn't stop touching once he'd started. With Gerard spread out beneath him, legs open wide for Frank to fit between them, there was a moment where all life seemed to stand still. Frank was breathing unevenly as he pressed kisses into Gerard's neck bared for the touch of his lips, and Gerard's hand was down between his legs, stroking him off while Frank did the same for him. They were trembling together, noises disintegrating the moment they were released, but that didn't mean they weren't dearly cherished at the first signs of appearance.

Gerard's cock was heavy and hard in Frank's hand, silky to the touch and slick, so slick that Frank's entire palm was glistening, the sounds of his hand rapidly gliding across it fueling his desire. Frank tasted lipstick on his tongue as he dragged his mouth across Gerard's collarbone and moaned out, rocking his hips up. Gerard's thumb kept stroking the head of Frank's cock where precome flooded out, making soft moans stream out of him, the sensitivity flaring deeply inside him. Gerard, debauched and glowing, curled a free hand into Frank's hair to yank his head down towards his mouth for their lips to connect in a blistering kiss bringing Frank so close, close enough to taste it, for it to flood underneath his tongue and tingle under his skin glistening in a thin sheen of sweat decorating Gerard's skin alike.

When Frank finally came, he curled up against Gerard tightly, shaking into him and willing their skin to melt together so he'd never be forced to detach himself. Gerard was gasping, clawing at Frank's skin, and facing an eruption of his own, internal and external as the universe they created together exploded to expand beyond their years, infinitely. Gerard's legs wrapped around Frank's body and their hips rocked towards each other as they rode out their orgasms plowing through them volcanically. Frank's eyes blurred from the film of tears that rose in them, a habitual thing whenever he was extremely turned on, and if he blinked hard enough, he worried they would shed. Frank stroked Gerard loosely, fingers soaked in come, something so enticingly filthy that he couldn't help but moan weakly. Gerard shuddered against him at the sensitivity, panting hard against Frank's naked skin. He nuzzled his face against Frank's shoulder and trailed his fingers across Frank's come staining his skin.

Then, to Frank's surprise, Gerard was laughing softly and saying, "We're in such deep shit."

Frank slumped against him. Bodies plastered together and Frank was breathlessly pushing out a string of chuckles harmonizing with Gerard's in a parade of self pity and divinity alike when it all rose up in him at once. Frank blinked his eyes slowly and burrowed away in Gerard's neck, his hair tickling his cheeks like angel feathers, wishing to be apart of any dimension that wasn't their own. Frank couldn't change fate or the recklessness of their decisions.

"At least we're in it together." Frank whispered against Gerard's neck.

Gerard was quiet for a long moment, then his arms looped around Frank's waist, turning them over onto their sides in a heap to find his eyes. "Yeah. At least we're together."

The sense of belonging somewhere had never fallen over Frank so strongly until he befriended Gerard, and was given a purpose to where his company alone served plentifully enough to keep a lonely soul from drifting beyond recognition of his own self. Frank supposed it was another reason for his selfish yearning, for not becoming the bigger person and stopping their progression towards the point of no return, but Frank was only a young human being, and young human beings were most commonly found being swept away from all realistic scenarios by the first sign of love blossoming in their hearts. Frank knew the impossibility of him and Gerard, yet it didn't stop him, although it should have.

They slid out of bed eventually to change into pajamas when the bitterness of autumn's chill crept in even under the covers draped across their naked skin. Gerard's eyelids were heavy as he burrowed under the blankets and tucked into Frank's side, their legs slowly intertwining where they weren't visible, tired gazes connected in the placid silence accompanying their soft breaths evening out through the blanket of exhaustion gradually creeping over them.

"I guess I can tell you my full name now. Since I spilled my guts out to you earlier." Gerard's soft chuckled billowed out and gently grazed Frank's cheeks where his face loomed closeby to count the light dusting of freckles sprinkled along Gerard's snub nose.

"Yeah?" Frank whispered, intrigued to hear it.

"It's Gerard Arthur Way." Gerard shut his eyes and shyly smiled, pressing his cheek further into Frank's pillow. "I know it's a nerdy middle name. I rarely shared it with anyone even when I was alive."

Frank couldn't deny it; it was a nerdy middle name, but the endearing quality of it couldn't be overshadowed by that. In a way, it suited Gerard, unconventional and a bit old fashioned much like the one the name belonged to.

"I like it." Frank disarmingly smiled to coax out some of the embarrassment glowing in Gerard's cheeks. "I'm Frank Anthony."

"Frank Anthony?" Gerard's eyebrows shot up in a trace of surprise that soon evaporated for amusement to fill in its new absence. "That's very Italian."

"I'm only half." Frank followed his new instinct by brushing away a tendril of inky hair fluttering towards Gerard's cheek. He tucked the strand behind Gerard's ear, feeling the heat of his blush radiate from his skin, and a new ache settled into the center of his chest, one that didn't cause unpleasant thorns to bristle and cut through the tissue inside. It was the ache of a healing wound, a fulfilled destiny of some sort, even if it was disasterous. Gerard's eyes laden with the darkness stared into Frank's, his throat moving as he swallowed hard.

"Gerard?" Frank began to say with a thousand breaths tangled up in his throat. "I —"

"Don't say it, Frankie." Gerard's finger pushed up against Frank's lips parted slightly in preparation to make a confession he never considered releasing until he discovered completeness having Gerard's skin pressed against his in the evening.

Frank's first instinct was to be wounded, and to doubt that Gerard felt the same intensity of emotion brewing under the surface whenever he looked into Frank's eyes, but after a thick moment of silent eye contact, understanding trickled into his consciousness. Gerard didn't deny him the opportunity to speak the words out loud because reciprocation wasn't within his capabilities; he denied it because the nights they'd spend without their bodies entangled under warm covers as breaths mingled sweetly would be more painful than either of their hearts could bear.

Drawing in a deep breath through his nose, Frank nodded subtly. Gerard's glistening eyes swirling in shadowed melancholy followed the path of his finger tenderly tracing the shape of Frank's lips that trembled as his heart constricted.

"Okay." Frank's whisper fanned across Gerard's skin and finalized all conversation.

Gerard's apologetic mannerisms were guiding his head onto Frank's chest and curling deeply into his side, relishing in the closeness emanating a surge of warmth their bodies created together that shut out the chill from the outside, sinking under flesh and moving beyond what was visible to the naked eye. Frank soaked in their limited time and shut his eyes tight, burying his face in Gerard's hair and hiding small kisses there for Gerard to remember when he took a supernatural form where such sensations couldn't bleed through to him anymore. He prayed the singular tear slipping from the inner corner of his eye went unnoticed as he waited for Gerard's breathing to even out before drifting off into the land of sleep on his own, willing vibrantly painted dreams of harmony and no hardships would fill in the sudden hollowness that was bound to punch through his heart the moment Gerard's warm body slipped away from his reaching hands.

Come the morning light, Frank should've known his paradisiacal montage would come to screeching halt birthing reality anew in a harsh punch like iron knuckles to a tender stomach.

The hue outside was not beyond the bruising of fresh blueberry skin when Frank was abruptly awaken by Gerard scurrying to the bathroom, nearly tripping over his own feet in his desperation to escape the bedroom. Frank sat up quickly, his head spinning from the sudden headrush and a sleepy haze in his skull and behind his squinting eyes attempting to shake the blurriness from dreams away to anticipate real life instead. Swimming through his clouded confusion, Frank made sense of the situation, and he was soon overcome with concern.

Frank kicked away the knot of thick blankets tangled around his legs and hurried over to the restroom, flicking on the lamp on the way out so he wasn't wandering through darkness. He ventured out as quietly as possible, crossing the hallway to the restroom door that was left open a crack, faint yellow lighting spilling out onto the ground from the inside.

Pushing the door open, Frank found Gerard curled up on the ground over the bathroom mat angled in front of the toilet, pallid as he pressed his back against the tub with an arm thrown across his abdomen, bloodied toilet tissue balled up against his nose currently gushing out a stream of crimson. His fingers were stained scarlet and droplets loitered the ground, smeared in some places where Gerard accidentally stumbled over it in his pursuit to stop the blood flow. His wide eyes flashed fearfully up to where Frank stood, as though he was afraid of receiving a scolding for a bloody nose.

"Gerard? Are you okay?" Frank quietly shut the door behind him, his widened eyes taking in the scene in front of him worriedly.

"I - I woke up 'cause my head was pounding, then my nose started pouring blood." Gerard tremulously explained his state. He floundered for the roll of toilet paper to replace the sodden wad wilting rapidly in his hands. Frank was quick to retrieve it for him, pressing the soft padding against Gerard's sensitive nose. Gerard cupped his trembling hands around the tissue and tilted his head back, eyes wildly darting across the ceiling. Frank folded down onto the ground beside him, pushing away a strand of hair gathering some crimson liquid onto the tip before it could become completely soaked in blood.

"Jesus, you're bleeding a lot." Frank chewed his lower lip as he considered the amount of blood flowing from Gerard's nostrils, knowing it was possible to lose a concerning amount through a lethal nosebleed.

"I think I'll be fine," Gerard's eyes darted between Frank and the ceiling, "It's not gushing as much as it was in the beginning."

Frank's stomach gave a fluttering kick at the mention of gushing. He grabbed a folded towel from underneath the sink and dampened it, collecting the blood droplets staining the ground, and taking the bath towel hanging by a hook on the back of the door to cater to Gerard's bloodied hands. He carefully patted the blood away from Gerard's pale fingers, unable to fully take away the stains residing underneath his nails and in the finest creases along his palms, but he removed enough for it to not vividly stand out against his skin. His hands were clammy, frigid in Frank's grasp; all the more concerning to him.

"Your head is still pounding?" Frank asked softly, inspecting Gerard's gray parlor. His heart gave an uneasy twist resonating in the tips of his restless fingers.

"God, yeah." Gerard breathed, squeezing his eyes shut. "Feels like I got hit over the head with a bat."

"I'm gonna get you some water and aspirin." Frank moved into a crouching position to haul himself up, but he was halted by a cool hand wrapping loosely around his wrist. Frank turned back with large eyes, his brows creasing.

"Can you stay with me until the blood stops?" Gerard's imploring eyes dug deep into Frank's resolve to persuade him.

Frank wavered and consequently unraveled. He straightened out of his crouching posture and settled in beside Gerard, uneasy with the stained tissue pressed up against Gerard's nose and the strange sickly condition of him. He wondered if it was a side affect of the spell, inevitable sickliness that tended to come along with being human. Frank wasn't sure if a bloody nose and a splitting headache counted as illness, yet Gerard may as well have suffered from a rare condition hacking up his immune system for the way he concerned himself with Gerard's state.

"It looks like I murdered a tiny animal." Gerard's consternation pulled a frown out of him. His eyes fluttered shut and he sighed deeply.

Frank tittered quietly. "You could never. You're harmless."

"Did I wake you?" Gerard's eyes opened again and met Frank's, large and hesitant.

"Yeah, sort of. I got a little spooked."

"I'm sorry. It's the asscrack of dawn and I woke you up." Gerard regretfully slumped his shoulders.

"Don't apologize for anything. You didn't exactly ask for your nose to bleed." Frank stroked Gerard's hair away from his pallid forehead, relishing in the subtly of Gerard tilting his face in the direction of his nurturing palm.

"I feel sick," Gerard whispered, "I don't know why. I didn't realize I'd signed up for this."

"That's called being human. Welcome to my world." Frank jested about his own tendency to fall ill to make light of the situation. Gerard's smile came unrestrained and soft, his eyes fondly holding Frank's gaze steady.

When the blood slowed to a measly few droplets being captured by bath tissue, Frank quietly exited the bathroom to grab the glass of water and the bottle of aspirin he promised to bring to Gerard's side. When he returned, he helped Gerard clean himself up once the blood completely dispersed, encouraging him to drain at least half of the glass as he swallowed down the two pills to eradicate the splitting headache. When they were finished and Gerard's head became heavy with the sudden desire to sleep, Frank slung his arm around Gerard's waist and helped him to his feet, groaning lightly at the weight as Gerard stumbled without balance for a few seconds before he steadied himself, his head lulling.

Frank's heart skipped into a battered rhythm chilling his blood when he glanced at Gerard's arm haphazardly tossed across his shoulders, finding ghostly pale skin flickering between translucent and solid in an eerie like the rhythm of winking candlelight in the wind. His gasp was garbled in his throat as he stopped dead in his tracks in the center of the hallway, his heart thudding heavily from the sudden fear that Gerard was about to dissolve right before his eyes.

"What?" Gerard groggily asked, unaware of his own fading state, his eyes practically entirely shut from the unnatural exhaustion taking a toll on his body.

Frank snapped his head to the side to find Gerard's entire body was flickering in the strange beat of pale brightness and evanescent porcelain Frank believed he could run his fingers through if he pressed them against Gerard's flesh, yet he wouldn't dare to. His terror of an inevitable disappearance laid on thickly, wide eyes drinking in Gerard's body slumped against his in a nearly unconscious state. An icy feeling burst through his bloodstream to recall the temporary consequence of a spell reviving Gerard, how their limited time was bound to spill through their fingers before either of them could prepare. Panic sparked deeply in Frank and his legs twitched, frantically pulling Gerard close against his side.

"Fuck," Frank hissed. "Hold on, G. Don't fucking burn out on me yet, please don't."

Gerard confusedly mumbled something in response before he was blurrily blinking up at Frank, dropping his head onto his shoulder, and fading out of consciousness and bright colors, like the wilted wings of a white butterfly withering by the hands of time. Frank's alarm trickled into his mind-numbing fear as he struggled to drag Gerard across the hallway as quietly as possible with his parents asleep at the end of the hallway, trying to conceal his ragged breathing as his lungs threateningly tightened along with the glaciers building in his heavy chest.

Frank burst into his bedroom and lugged Gerard over to the bed, carefully laying his limp body down onto the mattress. Gerard's head lolled over the pillow and his limbs were loose as Frank arranged him, laying a blanket over his pallid form. Gerard's lips and cheeks were draining of their color, yet something hidden within the folds of the universe allotted them more time; breath still pumped in Gerard's lungs out of his parted lips near to Frank's ear he hovered above them to find out if he'd so quickly lost Gerard as a mortal. Frank sighed heavily in relief and squeezed his trembling eyelids shut, sagging against Gerard's chest for a moment. His bruised heart thumped unevenly as he buried a kiss under Gerard's chin, shakily sweeping his hair away from his slumbering face with the warm relief defrosting the icy temperatures freezing over his insides from a fleeting moment where he believed Gerard was preparing to disintegrate so soon. He felt aged several years from the anxiety clawing at the inner linings of his flesh watching Gerard rapidly lose consciousness and color in his skin. As he wrapped a ginger hand around Gerard's limp wrist, he realized the loss of warmth was a sign that next time, the universe wouldn't be gracious enough to grant them another human moment together, and Gerard would once again return to where he was eternally bound to a dilapidated building in the silence of the woods holding the secret of the harrowing tale of a soul ripped brutally from a young body years ago.

Frank pushed himself up onto his arms and leaned over Gerard, gazing down at his sweet face barren of any reasons for the forces of nature to treat his adolescence so cruelly, trapping him between the narrow halls of an hourglass to never float towards the beginning or the end. It pulverized Frank internally after facing a slim moment of sudden doom how he so wouldn't be able to release his heart's hold on Gerard so easily after knowing how it felt to hold him in his arms stripped of all secrets and guards, naked not only for eyes to see, but for a heart to feel andidentify with wholly. So intense did the pain spread like as thorny disease to realize the temporary bliss flew past him in cruelly dwindling seconds draining like the healthy glow in Gerard's skin, resembling death the more Frank stared at his unconscious face he saw flushed and full of adoration moments before blood spilled.

The frozen hold of the inevitable caused Frank to realize Gerard may not have been as strong as they were so certain of, strong enough to keep tethered to the earth long after the spell vanished.

"What's gonna happen to you?" Frank whispered with numb lips, his hands stroking Gerard's face and his chest, grappling for something to hold onto before he yanked away from the bed, breathing hard.

Frank broke into his many secretly binded spell books to search for more information he neglected to read into before recklessly using magic. The violets and indigos of morning began blooming across the carpet and mockingly glowed over Frank's skin in a rising crescendo as he tore through the books, reading into spells involving the dead and the living, both the rewards and the consequences, but above all things,Frank sought out an explanation to what would happen if Gerard were to dissipate into the unseen if his soul was rendered too weak to keep its hooks sunk deep into the ground. He couldn't vanish, there had to be possible way to retrieve him if the worst of their fears touched reality. Even magic couldn't be barbaric enough to rob a soul of its chance at peace or an existence on earth as a price to pay for a joyous taste of human life for a day.

The morning became a honey glaze breaking through the quivering leaves dangling on the edges of fragile twigs when Frank found the passage that sent his heart plummeting into the recesses of the earth. His finger skimming over the words froze over the line, veins crooking painfully in his body, and his breath gusted out in a weak and silenced cry washing over the yellowed pages of the aged spellbook in his hands.

_"The spirit, in their deteriorating form without the strength to remain tethered, will vanish into the realm of the Unknown, a boundless eternity of silence and the black, never to return, never to find peace."_

What tore Frank apart the most was that he knew Gerard had a chance of sinking into nonexistence before he casted the spell, yet he did it anyway, if only to see the sparkle in Gerard's smile as he touched his skin and found a pulse awaiting him under his seeking fingers. No one deserved that kind of unadultered happiness more than him. Frank knew about the consequences, but allowed his pining heart to stride ahead of his judgement, blinding him of his initial gut instinct to disregard his idea out of the raw terror of losing Gerard for good.

Now, without being given a choice, Frank would be forced to watch Gerard fade out of existence, as if he never touched the earth or Frank's world at all, not even salvageable in the world of magic once he was out of sight. 

Frank crawled into bed beside Gerard, feeling his body broken and his spirit detached. He sank into the mattress and curled up deep into Gerard's side, burrowing under his arm and slowly laying his head over his chest where he could hear the rhythm of Gerard's heartbeats thumping under his ear. Why was kindness treated so despicably? How could any good be rewarded in others, yet the most pure intentions were smothered in grief? Frank always acted out of kindness, yet it always smited him in some way or another. The time he advised a childhood friend how to woe a girl only to find the girl his friend was after was the same girl Frank's heart laid with, or the time Frank spent countless nights awake consoling a best friend through heartbreak after the death of her grandmother only to be abandoned during a depressing period in his life where he was in most need of a friend. It all seemed childish to him now, and as he clung to Gerard in the early morning glow, Frank never felt so deserted by everything he wished he still believed in.

Frank managed to fall asleep as he gave into the exhaustion behind his eyes at some point. When he woke up, he was laying lower than he recalled, draped over Gerard's stomach instead of his chest. His arm was thrown over his eyes like a reflex to block out the sunlight. He heard soft rustling, the scratch of pencil over paper somewhere in the midst of his sleepy fog. Frank paddled his way through it and cracked his eyes open, his lids heavy and aching.

Frank turned his head and peeked around his arm. Gerard was quietly doodling on the notebook that was laying carelessly on Frank's nightstand along with a led pencil that was shoved through the metal curls holding the binding together. He looked tired, lily white with shadows dusted under his eyes, but what counted was that he was still solid and breathing. Frank's chest clenched deeply and painfully, drawing a weak groan from him.

Gerard looked down at the sound. He moved the notebook aside to meet Frank's eyes, his face softening. He set aside his materials and drew a hand into Frank's hair, fingers gliding through it so gently that Frank's sore heart gave a warm twist, his insides knotted together tight with yearning. He stared at Gerard for a long time, slowly blinking, wishing he knew a spell to freeze time.

"Were you having a nightmare?" Gerard asked quietly.

Frank dug through the gravel in his throat to speak. "I can't remember dreaming about anything. Why?"

"You said my name a few times. You cried in your sleep." Gerard tapped Frank's cheek gently and followed a trail of tears that was no longer present, but judging by the stickiness surrounding Frank's eyes, it was not very long ago.

"Oh," Frank wiped at his face self consciously, "I didn't know. Sorry."

"For what?" Gerard's lips folded into a half smile. "Everyone has bad dreams every once in a while."

Frank didn't make another comment. He dimly recalled a nightmare where he tried to touch Gerard, but he disintegrated into white sand in his palms, withering away silently with the most haunting expression in his eyes. Frank swallowed hard and pushed himself up so he wasn't sprawled over Gerard. He pushed a hand through his hair and sighed deeply, rubbing at his eyes.

"Wanna see what I drew?" Gerard asked and grabbed the notebook, shaking it lightly.

Frank smiled weakly and nodded. Gerard handed him the open notebook and Frank held it, inspecting the sketch laying on the fresh page. They were two people dressed as sheet ghosts, intertwined by their humanlike hands while in stride together, looking positively joyous while strolling down a road covered in fall leaves. Judging by their heights and the first name initials doodled underneath the two sheet ghosts, Frank identified them as himself and Gerard.

"I love it." Frank murmured, dragging his fingertip over their joined hands.

"It's for you to keep. Sorry it's not exactly professional drawing paper . . ."

"I don't care. I'll pin it up somewhere in here." Frank promised as he stroked over the page appreciatively, knowing it would be something he'd treasure for years to come.

Gerard beamed, sitting up against the pile of pillows below him now that he was given space to move about. He raked his fingers through his messy dark hair and blew out a sigh through his nose, wincing as he wiped quickly under it.

"I feel really weird." Gerard took note of his physical state. "I think I bled too much. I feel weak."

Frank's eyes pressed shut hard for a fleeting moment. He swallowed down the venomous guilt and looked over to Gerard, assessing the subtle shake in his hands and the curved forward slump of his shoulders. "You kind of passed out."

"I'm sorry, you had to drag me to bed, didn't you?" Gerard's eyes crinkled around the edges as his face screwed up apologetically.

"I didn't mind. I was just -- I got really scared." Frank minutely contemplated not telling Gerard about the strange occurrence of his body fading in and out of solidness, but he decided keeping the truth from him wouldn't do them any favors when Gerard was bound to figure out the truth himself on the day he was meant to unravel. "Gerard . . . you looked like you were about to disappear.Your body, it was like, I don't know. Flashing. You were going from solid to translucent."

The remaining bit of color in Gerard's cheeks drained away. "What?"

"I thought you were burning out." Frank shakily swallowed down the thickness knitting together in his throat."I swore you were gonna disappear on me right then and there."

Gerard's eyes were aghast. He pressed a hand against his cheek, passing both through his hair, tugging as if to test the solidity of his own self. He passed his hands down his arms and let out a shuddering breath. "Oh man. Is that why I feel so weak? 'Cause the spell is expiring?"

"I think so." Frank shallowly whispered.

Gerard's hands froze over his knees, large eyes flashing as they settled over the mattress to stare a burning hole into it. He suddenly gave Frank a look calling an internal disaster wreaking havoc inside him. "Frank. If I feel like this now, what's gonna happen to me when I need my strength to stay here in my usual form?"

Frank's mouth went dry. The cotton suddenly flooding his throat scraped at the roof of his mouth and prevented him from speaking again. His chest shuddered as a quaking breath streamed out of his nose, his fingers curling into his baggy shirt, bunching up the material and squeezing until the skin over his knuckles was pulled white from the tension.

"Oh fuck," Gerard breathed, a grimace turning his mouth. "Don't look at me like that. Some hope would be nice."

"Hope?" Frank's scratchy voice tore through his throat like the thorns on swinging vines.

"Yes. Don't look at me like the world's about to end." Gerard slowly shook his head, breathing shakily. He wrenched forward and squeezed Frank's shoulders, lightly shaking his frame. "C'mon, Frankie, we both said I'd come out of the other end of this."

"You're deteriorating." Frank blurted. He was stiff like a block of cement under Gerard's fingers he knew were pressing into his skin, but unlike the night before, he couldn't relish in the feeling of his touch.

"Don't use that word." Gerard winced.

"I read it in a spellbook this morning while you were sleeping. If worst comes to worst, it says the spirit will deteriorate." Frank pushed Gerard's hands from his arms. He swayed onto his feet, feeling the world around him spun slower with every movement.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Gerard demanded, though his voice didn't carry out the strength he intended, viciously similar to their inescapable situation. No one possessed the strength they needed to see things through the right way.

Frank stared out the window, eyes pinned to a leaf fluttering down towards the ground, feeling just as fragile when he spoke again. "The spirit's human form falls apart. They don't have strength left after that. Then, they just fucking vanish, into a place where not even magic can bring them back. No peace, not fucking anything. You'll just disappear as if you never existed."

Gerard's breath tangled and dissipated for a moment before it swung back into a ragged rhythm blending with disbelieving chuckles ruefully pushing out of him. Frank's icy hands hung limp at his sides as he listened to Gerard breathing, not moving a single limb, nor sharing any of his thoughts. Frank didn't have the will to turn and examine his face, to see the look of anguish or the delayed hatred he would feel for allowing Frank to propose the idea of temporary life in the first place. It was deserved, perfect penance for selfish desires. Human needs didn't blend with the supernatural. Frank should have known that.

"I fucking knew that," Frank whispered. "We both knew that, but we still did it. We should've never had too much confidence. Never."

"How would we know?" Gerard's voice split. "Neither of us knew if I was strong enough to keep myself from falling apart in the end or not. There was no way to know."

"Exactly." Frank choked out. "We didn't know. Which is why I should've never cast this spell."

"You regret it?"

"Of fucking course I regret it." Frank rasped out, possibly too harsh considering the tenderness of Gerard's feeble voice indicating a lash his heart took, but Frank couldn't restrain himself. "Nothing is worth losing you forever."

The silence pooling between them was more lethal than any string of words, battling neck and neck with the sting of Frank's confession that he no longer found comfort in the spell he cast onto Gerard. It wasn't a thing of magic, but a curse in disguise balancing Frank at the tip of a blade before it would slice through the deepest, a fatal wound to never anticipate recovery since the pain of it would be immortal. The only person Frank ever loved, torn away from him with no one but his own self to blame.

On one hand, Frank felt splitting guilt string through him, and he longed to whirl around to comfort Gerard, take back the venom in his voice, but on another hand, he couldn't face him. Gazing into his eyes would only serve as a reminder of the indirect betrayal that was taking Gerard's only source of living from him. If he couldn't walk the earth in a human body, the least he had was a paranormal encapsulation of his soul grazing the ground, tethered to the space where he lost his human life, but he was never truly alone when Frank returned to him.

Frank didn't need to turn his head to face Gerard because Gerard was stepping around him and into his line of vision, sunlight suffusing his hair and the diamonds in his wide eyes brimmed over with hurt and a flash of anger cutting Frank through the center.

"I understand why you're feeling the way you are right now, I really do, but you don't need to say you regret every moment." Gerard bitterly pulled Frank from the darkness to bring him to a different side of reality.

Frank stammered. "I — _no_ , Gerard, I wasn't saying I regret every moment. I just . . . regret casting the spell at all."

"You realize last night wouldn't have ever happened if it wasn't for the spell, right?" Gerard's hurt rose over his anger to the point where the defensive part of him dissolved under the weight of something more delicate, yet strong all the same. "I wouldn't have woken up beside you and had a memory like that."

Frank shut his eyes for a stinging moment and they flew open again. He reached out for Gerard's wrists that fit naturally in his hands, tugging gently, stepping forward until their eyes met again and he read into every fiber of Gerard's minor heartbreak before he could shatter anything more.

"I don't regret any of that," Frank whispered, "I don't regret finally knowing what I feel and — just. Being with you." Every moment ingrained in Frank's memory sweetly encased him and left him floating centimeters above the ground.

Gerard's throat worked as he swallowed thickly, a faint frown tugging at the corners of his lips. His lashes fluttered and he drew his wrists away from Frank's grip, leaving him grasping at the empty air. "You've already accepted that I'm not gonna make it."

Frank's chest constricted painfully. Despite himself, a flare of frustration worked through him. Frank dropped his hands limply at his sides, slowly shaking his head. "I told you, Gerard. Just now. You've already started fading."

"So you just chose to lose all faith in me and act like I've already gone?" The strength in Gerard's voice was surprising as he whirled around and faced Frank with wide eyes colored in disbelief, his face lined with the same expression. "We should be taking in every second we have left if I'm gonna fucking fade away for good. You're just pitying yourself instead."

"Of fucking course I am?" Frank blanched. "We wouldn't need to soak in every second you have left here if it weren't for me basically pressuring you into doing the spell."

"You didn't pressure me. I told you I wanted this." Gerard jabbed a finger in Frank's direction as a scowl unfolded. "I wanted to be human again, to be human with you. I don't give a shit if I disappear to god knows where because at least I got to know what it feels like to be with you. 'Cause that's all I wanted. More than being alive again, more than being visible to people, more than getting out of that fucking hell I'm always trapped on."

"I give a shit." Frank stomped forward, not caring if Gerard had a height advantage of a few inches; his heart pounded, his fingers trembled as he curled them in towards his palms repetitively, and everything inside was aching. "I care if I lose you forever. You don't care because you won't even exist anymore when you go, but I'm gonna be stuck here until I die knowing I was the reason why my best friend isn't here anymore."

Gerard backed down a step, but lost no flame in his fire. "I know that, but I'm not gonna lay down and let you wish you could take it all back just to save yourself the pain."

"Jesus fuck, Gerard, it's not just about me. Don't you get it?" Frank's exasperation blended in with his shaking frustration, the brewing storm leading him to a breaking point. "I wish I could give you everything. I tried to give you everything in my reach and it backfired so fucking badly. You want to live again, you want to be with me, now you don't get to do that at all, not even halfway anymore."

Gerard's simmering eyes dimmed in a slow progression shrinking him down. Frank couldn't continue to face him the way he did, weakness wracking through him and wrapping spindly fingers around the collapse of his lungs. Frank backed down and sank onto the edge of the bed, his lungs loose and heavy enough to break through the earth below him for his body to be consumed by it. His defeat was instant, and Frank wondered how he'd crumble when the time came for Gerard to disintegrate.

"Wouldn't you . . . wouldn't you despise yourself too if you were responsible for taking away what little I had left?" Frank found himself breathing out a perspective widening Gerard's understanding over the reasons why he reacted and thought the way he did. Frank couldn't stand causing him pain, making Gerard believe he came to regret the exchanges and bittersweetness passing through them in the evening, but Frank also couldn't move around the solidity of a bleak fate.

The pain soaked into every fiber of Frank's being soon dissolved Gerard as well. The silence swelled and was broken when Gerard started moving forward. He touched Frank's shoulder, then his hand weakly fell away, and he was unsure of how to move. Frank barely looked up at him when Gerard was moving in, wrapping his arms around around Frank and guiding his head against his abdomen. Frank's floodgates burst when his cheek was against the warm of Gerard's chest and his hands were stroking through his hair, comforting him, coaxing his pain from his body to release him of his burden. Frank's eyes welled with tears as Gerard whispered many apologies. He felt stupid for lashing out, ignoring Gerard's pleas for his own to be heard instead, even if they were still wounding him the same.

Gerard pulled back and cupped Frank's face in his hands to look in his eyes sorrowfully, wiping the tears that fell with his thumbs.

"I'm sorry, Frankie. I know." Gerard kissed Frank's lips so softly that it hardly counted as a kiss, but the sentiment was just the same, tearing Frank further apart from the tenderness. "I know. I just don't want you to hate yourself."

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have snapped like that, I know I said things all wrong and you _should_ be mad at me."

"We're both scared of different things in one situation. It's okay."

"Don't think that I regret anything," Frank kissed Gerard again, harder to compliment his firm statement. "You know that I . . . you know I—"

"I know." Gerard pressed their cheeks together, but that time, Gerard's was also warm with tears. "I do, too."

Frank knew Gerard did. He stroked Gerard's hair and stood up on shaking legs to envelope him in a tight embrace rocking them back and forth, unwilling to release him, but the time where he'd be forced to do what he loathed to imagine was most likely upon them. He buried a kiss in Gerard's hair to carry with him wherever he went, refusing to believe a person who his life revolved around would suddenly evaporate out of existence as a whole. He'd always be alive in Frank's heart which would beat on behalf of both of them.

Then, Gerard's trembling began. He was quaking, losing balance in Frank's arms as if his bones were powerless. At the first sign of him growing limp, Frank staggered and held Gerard up, pulling his head back in alarm. Gerard was growing increasingly pale, his eyes fluttering and rolling back. He gasped and suddenly snapped back into a more conscious state. He wrapped his hands weakly around Frank's biceps and struggled to catch his breath just as another trail of blood began to trickle from his nose, pausing as soon as it appeared.

"Gerard?" Frank called, "What's the matter?"

"I just," Gerard slurred and shut his eyes, slumping again, but Frank caught him quick. Gerard's head laid heavily on Frank's shoulder. "The world . . . 's going black."

"Fuck." Frank's heart stammered. Frank heaved Gerard onto the bed, helping him arrange his limbs, and he rested his head on the pillow. Gerard groaned once he was resting on the mattress and curled into a fetal position on his side, arms folding tight across his stomach.

"What the fuck," Gerard wheezed, "There's a — _fuck!_ " Gerard cried out loudly at some pain that seemed to knife through his stomach.

"What's happening?" Frank quickly kneeled beside him and grasped his hand, squeezing tight. "What type of pain are you feeling?"

"My stomach. It feels like someone's stabbing me in the guts." Gerard's shaky laugh was cut off by another strangled groan, a grimace scrunching his face.

Frank pressed a hand against Gerard's forehead and felt the rushing cold clashing with the formations of sweat making his skin clammy. Panic sprung through him and he curled a hand around Gerard's cheek, wiping the blood under his nose with a swipe of his thumb.

"Can you tolerate it?" Frank swallowed thickly.

"What?" Gerard whispered, cringing.

"Can you tolerate it?" Frank asked again. "Or is it too much?"

"I don't . . . I don't know." Gerard meant to say more, but a sharp gasp tore from his lips. He silently cried out, curling further into himself until he was a quivering ball gradually growing smaller, he couldn't even speak through it. The answer was unspoken.

Frank stroked Gerard's hair, flickering through all the spells stored in his memory for the one he needed to ease some of Gerard's suffering if he couldn't mute it. Frank shut his eyes and pressed a kiss to his forehead before pressing his palm flat against it. He started whispering the chant under his breath, the repetition swirling hollowly in his mind as well. The mixture of magic and panic flowing through his veins was nearly blistering, but the spell managed to flow out successfully. Gerard fell unconscious immediately. The look of discomfort resided on his slumbering face, meaning he still experienced the pain, but he was far within his dreams, not fully present in the disintegration of his own body.

"It's gonna be painful?" Frank whispered almost silently, sounding frail to himself. "You're gonna fucking . . . You're gonna suffer. I don't want you to suffer."

Frank couldn't see to Gerard's ending on a note that would haunt his nightmares. Gerard was undeserving of the pain of his insides dissolving, bones loosening, a sluggish conversion into nonexistence. The way he whimpered and writhed in his sleep while flickering in and out of solidity again was enough to made Frank certain he couldn't allow it to continue. Gerard was more than worthy of leaving with nothing but kind memories to bring him warmth when he shut his eyes for the final time.

There was only one option. Frank's fingers curled in towards his palms and his knuckles were pulled white, choked down sobs assaulting his chest, but he couldn't be selfish enough to allow Gerard to writhe in agony for much longer. He couldn't let Gerard go without giving him his peace.

Frank shoved himself into clothes he found laying around the room and a pair of sneakers, grabbing his spellbook in his shaky clutch. He glanced back at Gerard, whispering words he hadn't allowed him to speak so things wouldn't be any harder when they said goodbye, and sprinted out of the house, past his parents calling out to him with questions left unanswered. He instead hopped onto his bike and hiked his hoodie over his head. His destination was the woods looming in the distance.

Frank was going to set Gerard free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!! The playlist is available on my spotify, my user is vampirexchild :)


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